The Farm
by fangirl1982
Summary: Gabrielle takes Jack up to her family's farm for some much needed RnR. Mostly friendship, romance later on.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is a bit of a break from my usual style, a multi-chapter fic which isn't heavy on the angst and sex - mostly a friendship fic with romance at the end. Hope you enjoy!**

Gabrielle Jaeger pulled into the driveway of the house she shared with her colleague and best friend Jack Quade, prepared for a fight. She was not just going to stand around while he drank himself into oblivion or worse, started bringing random women into her home. In the last few weeks he had become withdrawn and moody following the death of one of his patients. Not even being exonerated by the hospital board had lifted his spirits.

She had seen him go through something like this before. Well, not personally – when he had gone off the rails a year ago, he had been living with his old flatmate, Dan Goldman. But Dan had frequently expressed his concern that Jack was using booze and women to cope with his pain, and Gabrielle herself had seen the consequences of his destructive behaviour after he had seduced one of the best temps she'd ever had and then humiliated her into quitting. Of course, she now knew that it was because he had been reliving the sexual abuse he had suffered as a teenager, but that only concerned her more. Jack had proven he dealt with emotional trauma by drinking and sleeping around, and she didn't want to see him go down that road again.

Every so often, she was surprised at how deeply she felt for him. At first she had been a bit wary at taking him on as a boarder because of his history of alcohol and women, but at the time, she had been desperate to put a buffer between herself and her ex-boyfriend Steve. Subconsciously bracing herself for a parade of women and empty beer bottles – actually not much worse than Steve – she had been pleasantly surprised to find a great cook, excellent listener and sweet, loyal friend who opened her mind to different things and opened her heart to being loved. Which was why it killed her to see him sliding down a slope of self-pity.

She had a plan. He was already on a forced sabbatical ordered by his boss, the legendary and fearsome Frank Campion, head of the ED of All Saints Western General, so the fact that he was no longer in Sydney wouldn't be noticed. And she had already told Frank that her father was sick and she needed to take a few weeks off to help him through his convalescence. An outright lie – she had spoken to her father a few days ago, to get his OK for her plan, and he was in excellent health – but Frank didn't know that. What Jack needed, she decided, was time away from the stress of the job, somewhere he could learn and hard work and relaxing at the end of the day. The guy had grown up getting by on his phenomenal intelligence, his problem was that he thought too much. A few hours doing _real_ labour and he'd be too tired to think, and fifty kilometres to the nearest town and pharmacy, he'd have trouble getting hold of the diazepam he was becoming increasingly dependant on to sleep at night.

She let herself in the house, not surprised to see Jack on the couch, working his way through a carton of beer, watching something inane on TV. She frowned. Jack might spend too much time thinking, but watching stupid daytime TV wasn't good for him, either. She wondered when he had last shaved. He used to be so meticulous about his looks. She remembered, feeling herself blushing a little, how smooth his face had been when she'd kissed him. God help her, she'd wondered more than once what it would be like to go to bed with someone who took as much care of his body as Jack did. Now... he was still a good-looking man, but not as obviously so as he had been just a few weeks ago.

He barely glanced at her when she came in, whereas previously he would at least smile warmly, usually get up. He had lost all interest in doing – well, anything, really. "I want you to pack for a few weeks," she said abruptly. "Casual clothes, nothing you don't want getting dirty, something for church and something for a pub. A country pub, not a city bar that you're used to."

He finally looked at her properly, but it was a blank look. "Huh?"

"I said pack for a few weeks. Casual –"

He waved impatiently at her. "Yeah. I heard you. I just don't understand _why_."

"'Cos I'm taking you up to my dad's place for a break."

He made a face. The idea of being in the middle of nowhere definitely did not appeal to him. "Why would I do that?" he asked irritably.

"'Cos you're destroying yourself. Every day I come home and you're staring at that TV, drunk most of the time. How long before you start bringing strange women home?" she demanded to know. Or worse, took it upon himself to seduce another of her staff.

His eyes flashed indignantly; finally, she'd gotten a reaction other than self-pity or apathy. "I'd never do that to you!" he said.

"Yeah? You did it to Dan," Gabrielle reminded him. "You're not doing anything so you may as well have a change of scenery."

"No."

"Fine. Move out then. I won't have you trash your life under my roof."

"You can't throw me out because I won't go to your dinky little farm!"

"Yeah? Watch me. You don't have a formal lease, remember? You can come to the farm with me or you can get out, it's your choice."

Jack glowered at her. It wasn't like he was hurting her and anyway, if Frank hadn't insisted that he take a break, he would be working and wouldn't have time to get drunk every day. But... she had a point. He was doing nothing with his life and maybe a change of scenery would do him good. Besides, he liked living with Gabrielle. He may not have demonstrated it lately, but he enjoyed having her around, cooking with her, having someone to talk to at the end of the day. He especially liked the way she'd curl up against him when they were watching a movie. He didn't want to lose that. "Fine," he said grudgingly. "But I'm driving."

Gabrielle smiled sweetly. "We'll see about that."

* * *

"Tired yet?" she asked two days later. There was no way she was taking Jack's car, which despite being his pride-and-joy, was a city car. She insisted on taking her four-wheel drive. She'd let him drive, mostly because it amused her to watch him struggle with the car. It amused her even more that he had to strength to control the steering wheel, he pushed enough weights at the gym, but he was so used to a small car with power steering and –

"What's so funny?" he asked, catching her grin out of the corner of his eye and scowling.

"You. Looks like you can't do everything after all."

"Ha-ha, Miss What-does-the-horsie-do?" he retorted. He had been trying to teach her chess and hadn't been able to get her out of the habit of calling the pieces 'horsie' and 'castle'. Just wait until they got back to civilisation, he'd think of a dozen ways to make her feel like an unsophisticated country hick.

"Speaking of which," she asked slyly, her grin widening. "When was the last time you rode a horse?"

"Um... does a pony count?"

At this, Gabrielle couldn't help laughing. Jack was a good one-ninety centimetres and pushing a hundred kilos. She suspected the last time he'd been small enough to ride a pony had been when he'd been a child, and she bet it had been one of those docile creatures that you got at school fairs. It didn't exactly compare to a real horse. She remembered when they'd sponsored this city kid, her and her sister had thoroughly enjoyed putting her through her paces...

"Whatcha thinking about?" Jack asked, tuning in to her suddenly deflated mood.

"Just... someone who died."[LE1]

"Sorry."

"Not your fault." She cringed as Jack swerved slightly. "OK, macho man time is over," she directed, glad to have her mind on other things. "Pull over at the next rest stop."

"But –

"My car, my rules," she said in the same no-nonsense tone she used for her patients. She thought Jack looked relieved to have her take charge; knowing him, he was too proud to admit he was struggling with the more powerful car.

They got to the farm just as the sun was going down. Jack was looking tired, or maybe just bored. He wasn't the type who liked just sitting around – or at least, he hadn't been, until recently.

You'd think he'd have gotten used to it since Frank had forced him onto sabbatical.

Her father and brother greeted her at the front of the house. They both hugged Gabrielle warmly. "You look good," he said. "But when was the last time you ate proper food?" he asked. Russel Jaeger was convinced that there wasn't wholesome food to be found the width and breadth of Sydney.

"I'm eating well, dad," she said. "Jack's almost as fussy about his food being fresh as _you_ are." Or at least, he had been. Lately he had taken to surviving on take-out. That was when beer didn't give him all the calories he needed.

"This must be the Jack you've told me so much about," Russel said, looking over the younger man critically. It was obvious he was in good shape, and Gabrielle had bullied him into shaving and getting the dirt under his nails, but there was something in his eyes... Gabrielle had been upfront that she had a good friend who was going through some personal issues and needed some time-out, and Russel had taken the opportunity to have his little girl home for a few weeks. Instinct told him Jack was fundamentally a decent bloke... but he'd be keeping his eye out on his anyway.

Jack tried not to tense up when he felt Russel giving him a detailed once-over. He didn't like men looking at him, and the way Russel was taking him in made him feel like he was a piece of meat on display. Realising he'd clenched his fists and shoved them into the pockets of his jeans, he pulled them out and extended his hand to shake Russel's. Bloody hell, the guy had a strong grip. Jack restrained from flinching, knowing Russel was the kind of man who put a lot of stock in handshakes.

"So you're the man my little girl talks so much about," he said.

"Dad!" Gabrielle protested, embarrassed. She didn't talk about him _that_ much, did she? And so what if she did – they were colleagues, housemates and good friends, they spent a lot of time together. He was a big part of her life – the biggest part of her day-to-day life. She was allowed to talk about him.

"It's OK," Jack said, extracting his hand and discreetly flexing his fingers to make sure nothing was bruised – or fractured. "My sister thinks we spend too much time together. I think she's jealous. We only got to know each other a few years ago, and I don't think she likes there being any other woman in my life, even just a mate."

"I'm sorry, you only met a few years ago?" Russel asked.

_Crap_, Jack thought. Now he'd have to explain. Well, it wasn't like he was trying to impress Russel... or that Gabrielle could hold telling the truth about his family situation against him. "She my half-sister," Jack explained. "I was raised by my dad so I didn't realise she existed until my mum was dying and she tracked me down."

"You're mothers dead?"

"Yeah."

"Dad, I don't think this is the most ideal first conversation," Gabrielle cut in. "Do you need any help with dinner?"

"No, Billy and Gina have taken care of that. They're almost as excited to see you as we are." Billy and Gina were the couple Russel had employed to keep the house and garden in order and prepare meals. Since the death of Gabrielle and Ben's mother, Russel had found it difficult to both run the arm and take care of the house, and a live-in couple was the perfect solution. And Gina cooked almost as well as his late wife had.

She grabbed Jack's wrist. "C'mon, I want you to meet Gina and Billy. They're like an aunt and uncle to me."

She led Jack into the house. He had to admit, it was more modern than what he was expecting, and he felt judgemental for expecting some wooden thatched cottage. "Gina, it's me, Gabby," she called through the house. "I've brought a friend and I've told him all about country hospitality so you'd better come through for me." She pulled Jack into the kitchen to be met by a pleasant-looking woman who Jack guessed to be in her mid-thirties. "Jack, this is Gina. The house wouldn't run without her and she practically raised me and Ben."

Before Jack could shake her hand, Gina held up flour-coated hands. She looked him over with the same interest Russel had, but less critically. "You didn't tell him not to wear white?" she asked.

"I told him, but he didn't listen. I think we may have to go into town and kit him out all over again," she said, smiling, even if it _was_ at Jack's expense.

Jack resisted the urge to scowl. He had no intention of doing anything that got his white and pale-blue shirts dirty, so what was she having a go at me for? "I'm just teasing you, Jack," Gabrielle said playfully. She was aware that his back was up a little, but it was only the beginning of what he was in for if he didn't trust her when she said white shirts, especially the expensive ones he preferred, were not something he should be wearing around a farm. She turned to Gina. "Smells great. Roast beef?"

"Of course. What else would I make for your homecoming?"

"Gina, I'm not home for good. We're just here for a few weeks." She knew that her dad would have told Gina and Billy that she was bringing a friend for some R&R, so she didn't bother to go into it again – and she knew Jack wasn't comfortable having what he considered to be his inability to get his act together broadcast to all and sundry.

"I know... but I still wanted to do something nice for you."

"I appreciate that. Jack, you've never tried anyone's roast beef like Gina's," she said.

"You're forgetting that I've mostly lived by myself my whole adult life, I didn't have a lot of time for something like a roast." That made him think of Mary and the fact he used to go over there usually once a week because she always insisted that she made too much – he realised now that she intentionally bought too much to begin with. God, he missed her.

Gabrielle noticed Jack's sudden flat mood and she was pretty sure she knew where it came from. She discreetly threaded her fingers through his and squeezed his hand[LE2] , hoping Gina didn't notice it and report back to her dad.

Gina noticed it, but decided not to say anything, either to Gabrielle or Russel. At least for the moment. The two of them had the oddest body language. They were obviously close, close enough to hold hands, but not together. She remembered Steve; she hadn't liked him from the beginning. But Jack... he was tired, he was distracted over something... but it was still obvious that he cared about Gabrielle – more than Steve ever had. "Why don't you go clean up before dinner?" Gina suggested. "You must have been driving a while."

"Yeah, you should have seen city boy over here trying to handle an all-wheel drive," Gabrielle cracked. Jack glared at her, and she smiled sweetly. They were on _her_ turf now. "Look, I'll show you to your room," she finally relented, figuring she couldn't be too hard on him, he was tired and cranky. "You'll be sharing a bathroom with me and Ben but there's a lock on it," she added when he made a face. He hadn't had to share a bathroom in years. "Have a shower and rest for a bit before dinner."

Jack didn't want to admit it, but he _was_ tired and he _did_ feel scungy. Too tired and scungy to care much that his was a single bed, something else he hadn't had to stoop to in years. The hot water felt good and afterwards, he felt a lot more refreshed and guilty for snapping at Gabrielle. He had been hot and irritable and taken it out on her. "Can I help with anything?" he asked.

"Not in my kitchen," Gina said in a tone that Jack knew to obey. She reminded him of how possessive Mary had been over her kitchen whenever he'd offered his assistance. He retreated to the adjoining dining room and watched and listened. Gabrielle had mentioned Gina a few times, but not enough to give Jack the impression that she looked up to the woman like a mother – or at least an older sister. He suddenly wished _he_ had such a person in his life... maybe it wouldn't have turned out as badly as it had.

He was surprised at how hungry he was when they sat down to roast beef with both roasted and steamed vegetables. "Sorry," he said guiltily when he noticed both Gina and Russel looking at him. Gabrielle was attempting to hide a smile. Two days without beer screwing with his calorie count and he appetite was being restored. "Gina, this is delicious."

"Gabrielle doesn't cook as well, after all I taught her?" Gina asked pointedly, eyeing the woman she had taught to cook like a good country girl.

"She does, I just haven't had much of an appetite lately," Jack admitted.

"Couple of days here should fix that," Russel said slyly. Gabrielle had requested Jack be assigned the most labour-intensive tasks he could handle. She bet farm labour would be a lot more taxing than the equivalent effort required for pumping weights in an air-conditioned gym.

"Do you play cricket?" Ben asked. "'Cos we have our own little club organised – probably not what you're used to, but we have fun."

"No, I'm not a big sports person," Jack admitted.

"I could teach you," Ben offered.

Billy smirked. "Ben fancies himself to be a future Shane Warne," he said.

"Don't bother with modern cultural references, Billy," Gabrielle piped up. "Dickens is the most modern writer he knows of."

Jack poked his tongue out of her in the playful way he had once done, before everything had happened. "I know who Shane Warne is, thankyouverymuch."

"And you admire him?" Russel said, an edge to his voice that Jack couldn't quite fathom.

"I don't think it's right that sports and movie stars get so much money and acclaim when doctors are constantly restricted by budget cuts, that scientists have to work on a pittance to discover cures for cancer and AIDS. What's more important, saving lives or idolising someone for swinging a bat?" he asked. "Sorry," he added, realising he may have stepped on these people's toes. "We got put through the grinder by admin earlier this year. It can be trying."

"That's not what dad was talking about, Jack," Ben clarified. "Dad doesn't think much of men who can't remain faithful." He shrugged. "I don't think it makes any difference to his ability to – as you say – swing a bat."

"What about you, Jack?" Russel asked. "You must have come across plenty of such... _men_." He spoke the last word as if he didn't think anyone who played around deserved the word, and Jack realised where Russel's animosity came from. Jack realised he was going to have to tread carefully. After all, one of his former mentors, Richard Craig, had been a compulsive womaniser, and that hadn't stopped him from being a brilliant surgeon.

"Of course I have," he said. "I'm sorry to say there's a certain sense of entitlement among doctors, especially surgeons – male _and_ female," he added, thinking of Bianca Frost. "That doesn't stop them from being good at what they do and a lot of people would be dead if we struck off every man who cheated on his wife. But that doesn't mean I'd let my sister date them... or any female friend of mine," he added, stealing a sideways glance at Gabrielle.

"You don't agree with it?" Russel asked.

Jack shook his head. He'd been cheated on, he knew how much it sucked – and he knew how much Steve's infidelity had stunted Gabrielle's sense of self-worth when it came to men. "If people want to spend their lives playing around, that's their prerogative. But if that's what they want, they shouldn't commit to anyone else. It only leads to tears."

"You sound as if you know what you're talking about."

Now Jack was squirming. He wasn't to know that Russel had long ago honed his interrogation skills to a fine art when it came to finding out where any man in his daughter's age bracket stood about infidelity. Nor was he to know that Gabrielle was sympathetic towards him. She knew her father vetted anyone she was even remotely interested in, but she hadn't realised that the fact she had brought Jack home for a break looked in his eyes like it was more serious than mere friendship. "My dad played around a lot," he finally admitted. "My step-mother couldn't get over it and wouldn't leave." In that statement he made it clear that he was the result of such playing-around. "Dad's actions made everyone in the family miserable, except maybe himself. I never want to put that kind of misery on someone."

There was a deep silence before Gabrielle blundered in with, "Gina, I don't suppose you made anything for dessert?"

"Of course I did," Gina said cheerfully. "Come and held prepare. Ben, you too. About time you learnt you way around the kitchen."

It was a command to get him out of the dining room, which Ben got all too clearly. Billy too, making his excuses to go to the bathroom, leaving Jack and Russel. "That was mean," Jack said. "I'm not Steve and I resent being interrogated like I am."

Russel was surprised. "You know about Steve?"

"Of course I do. She's my best friend, she tells me everything. I get that it was a lousy thing and you want to protect her but – look, it's not even like there's anything going on between us. We're just mates and even if we weren't, I wouldn't hurt her. I told you I'd never put that on someone. I've definitely made mistakes in relationships, but I have never crossed that line and I never will. You have no idea –" he clenched his fists under the table and willed himself to calm down. Russel could be concerned for his daughter's welfare til the cows came home, be aware of how badly Steve had broken her heart far more than Jack ever would, but he would never have a clue just how vicious an openly cuckolded spouse could be.

At that moment, Gina, Gabrielle and Ben came back into the dining room with bowls steaming with apple crumble. Gabrielle knelt by Jack's chair and squeezed his shoulder. "You alright?" she asked sympathetically.

"Fine," he said, irritable again.

"We'll talk after dinner, OK? Dad shouldn't have pushed you like that."

"Whatever." He was too irritable to care that his shortness caused her to flinch as if he'd struck her.

Dessert went smoothly, with Gabrielle and Gina determined to keep the conversation light. "Jack, you look exhausted, you should get some rest," Gina said. "You'll be woken up early so you should get some sleep while you can. Tomorrow's going to be a big day. It's Friday, Gabrielle, you came at a good time."

At this, Gabrielle's face lit up. She had been so busy worrying about Jack that she'd forgotten. "My niece boards at school and comes home for the weekends. You'll like her, I think." Jack had a certain knack with children, despite his fear that his own dark childhood made him predispositioned to become someone like Patrick Wesley.

Jack refused to be mollified by the thought of some teenaged brat running underfoot. He let Gabrielle show him back to his room and waited outside the room while he changed. "I'm sorry about dad," she said again. "He means well, he's just... so overprotective," she admitted. "I really fell apart when I found out about Steve and he remembers that. He just wants someone who'll treat me the way he treated mum." Jack didn't say anything, but he allowed her to lift his head up so she could place it in her lap. "I don't know if it means anything to you, but the reason he was so, well, _mean_ is because he likes you – I think he likes you more after one afternoon than he liked Steve after years and years."

"I don't appreciate having my character questioned by someone I've just met," he said crossly. But she knew how to stroke his hair the way he liked and that drained a lot of the irritability from his body.

"I know. Just... please Jack, try to make the best of things. You're here because you need a break from everything."

"I know." He was beginning to fall asleep. She noticed the diazepam next to his bed and was pretty sure the half-empty jar had been full just a few days ago. She held him until she knew from his breathing he had fallen asleep, then edged her way out from under his head. She turned off the light and closed the door behind her, but not before pocketing both the open bottle and the two he had stashed in his bag, all three from different doctors. Let him find a doctor who would prescribe such a strong sedative to someone Gabrielle was quite happy to expose as a prescription-shopper for his own good.

She found her father in the small living areas that was between the spare room Jack was occupying and the dining/kitchen areas. She was surprised that he'd been waiting for her. "What's that?" he asked, spying the bottles in her hand.

"Diazepam," she said. "It's a sedative, what they used to call Valium," she explained when her father looking quizzically at her. "He relies on it too much to sleep, that and alcohol."

"Do you think –?" Russel started to ask, and Gabrielle stopped him with a shake of her head.

"No. I know it all looks the same to you, but I know Jack. He doesn't have an addictive personality, but he's so lost right now that whenever he closes his eyes, all that comes to mind are all the things he can't do, all the people he couldn't save – not just this last guy that triggered it but everything that could have had a better outcome ever since he was licensed. He feels like he's under all this pressure to be God and he's got no-one who really cares, no-one other than me and his sister, and Rebecca's the sweetest girl, but she's too young to appreciate what he's going through. I just – I want to get him away from all the pressure he's under, surround him by good people..." She shrugged, helpless to express herself articulately.

"You care about him." It was a statement, not a question. But then, Russel had worked that out from their body language the moment they had stepped out of the car. Just how deeply she cared about him – and how deeply her feelings were returned – was yet to be discovered.

"He's the sweetest guy once you get to know him," Gabrielle insisted. "And I figure if you throw a lot of hard work at him, he'll be too tired to think about anything else. Just... give him a chance."

He could see that she cared about him, which was both a good and a bad thing. She needed someone in her life who cared about her... but she also had atrocious judgement when it came to caring about people. How much of her love she had wasted on Steve still boggled Russel's mind. But Gabrielle could be stubborn in her loyalty, she had already proven that with Steve, and he knew better than to raise his objections too soon.

Besides, he figured, he could have a lot of fun toying with Jack, testing what kind of man he was.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Jack woke sluggishly. He had been bone tired when he'd gone to bed the night before, but it had been weeks and weeks since he'd gone to bed completely sober, and he struggled to sleep without the help of something.

He rolled onto his side and promptly fell out of bed. He got up, grumbling to himself about the stupid tiny bed. He wanted his own bed back. Rubbing his head – although it didn't really hurt, he was just in an irritable mood – he glanced up to where he'd left his diazepam the night before. He frowned when he saw it wasn't there and wondered if he'd put it back in his bag. Going through it item by item, he became increasingly frantic as he couldn't find it.

Nor more pissed than irritable, he marched into the kitchen where Gabrielle was making breakfast. Not even the tantalising smell of pancakes, bacon and eggs took the edge of his mood. "Where's my diazepam?" he demanded

"Good morning to you, too," Gabrielle said pleasantly, determined not to let Jack's irritability get her down.

"Where's my diazepam?" Jack demanded again, determined not to let her derail his anger with her pleasantness.

"Unless they've done something to the sewerage system, most of the way back to Sydney, I'd say," she responded in that same pleasant voice.

Jack felt a rise of panic at the thought of his precious diazepam flushed down the sink. He _needed _it to help him sleep. "That's not funny. Where is it?"

"Jack if you don't believe me, you are welcome to search the house, but I put it down the sink. You're lucky I didn't report you for prescription shopping."

"Mike doesn't think it's as serious as I tell him," Jack said sullenly, trying to justify his actions. "Gabby, that's not fair, I _need_ my prescription."

"You think you need it. Besides, if you can't sleep, it's not like it's going to kill anyone."

She had meant to be glib, but it was a singularly poor choice of words."That's not funny."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. But Jack, you don't need it. What you need is to learn how to sleep without drugs. If you want, I'll rub your back tonight, that will help you relax."

"I don't want a backrub, I want my diazepam."

"Don't be such a child, Jack," Gabrielle finally snapped. "You agreed to come here because you were miserable, and relying on drugs just to sleep isn't helping. You want to go home, I'll drive you to the bus station, and you'd better be out by the time I get home. You want to stay, then stop whinging and help me with breakfast."

Bridling with sullenness, Jack nonetheless backed off and helped Gabrielle with breakfast. He didn't want to stay in this pokey little house with no diazepam, but he didn't care to move out, either. Besides, he cared even less to lose face with Gabrielle by admitting it would be a struggle to get to sleep without the aid of medication.

"You're not eating much," Russel noted soon after.

"I don't eat bacon... or real butter."

"Why not? You're not vegetarian, I saw how much you ate last night."

_Last night I had my diazepam, _Jack thought. "I watch what fat I eat. I have a fat percentage of ten percent," he added proudly, and Gabrielle cringed, because it wasn't the sort of thing her family would be impressed by. She understood that Jack's almost-fanatical obsession with working out came from a desire to be able to hold his own in a fight, but that wasn't something she could explain to her dad and brother – or something they would be impressed with. He'd just come across as vain, or worse, a bully.

Gina suppressed a snort of laughter – badly. "What's 'sposed to be normal?" she asked, wondering how he managed to be a surgeon and have enough free time to worry about things like body fat percentage.

"'Bout fifteen percent," Gabrielle offered. "Jack's the only person I know who can juggle a surgical career and health regime to rival an athlete's. Mind you, he doesn't date, so I think that's what he gave up." Jack glowered at her, which she returned with an angelic expression. If he was twit enough to think her family would be impressed by the fact he both knew his fat percentage and that it was obscenely low, then he deserved to be made fun of.

"You're going to be hungry later," Russel warned him.

"I don't care."

"Jack, for heaven's sake, eat your bacon," Gabrielle said sharply. Jack grudgingly at a little more after making a big show of scraping off as much fat as humanly possible. She couldn't believe he was being such a brat about it, and she knew it was over the diazepam. "I'm sorry," she said later to her father. "He's not usually like this. He's just sore because I threw out his diazepam."

"He's being exceedingly ungrateful," Russel said.

"I know. Look, he'll get hungry later on and that will teach him," she said. "Then he'll feel bad because we were right and he'll behave himself. I know him. Please, dad, can you cut him some slack?"

Her tone was so pleading how could he refuse her? "He'd better not keep this up or he can go home and be a pain in someone else's backside," Russel said. "If he upsets Sara – "

"I know, fair enough." Her niece was emotionally fragile and withdrawn enough, the last thing she needed was someone like Jack stomping around in a grumpy mood.

She found Jack shortly after, holed up in his room reading a book. She refrained from taking him to task over his rude behaviour... besides, she'd get him back at lunch. Gina had made her legendary fried chicken, and after what little he'd had for breakfast, he'd have to eat it or pass out. Besides, he was a bloody hypocrite, given how many calories there were in beer. _Ten percent, my ass. Try fifteen_. Grinning at her deviousness, she packed a hamper with the most high-energy foods she could find in the fridge and pantry. "I've saddled up the horses, I figured the best thing to do first was give you a tour on the farm. Dad wants us to set the yabbie traps down by the creek. Do you fish?"

"No," he said, as if it was the most idiotic question he'd ever been asked. "I go to the seafood markets. And what's a yabbie?"

"It's like a freshwater crayfish," she said. "They're yummy." Jack looked unconvinced.

His mood worsened when he had trouble getting onto the horse – even the horse seemed to find his clumsy efforts amusing. "There's nothing quite like racing around on horseback," she said when he wanted to know if they had something more convenient, like quad bikes. "What happened to the Jack Quade who assured me he could achieve anything he set his mind to?" Thus appealing to his stubborn pride, Jack kept at it until he got on the horse.

It was a pleasant day, and she was surprised at how much she was glad to be back on the farm. While she spoke to her father, brother, Gina and Billy frequently on the phone, she hadn't been back since before she had started working at All Saints. The irony was she hadn't wanted to go back because there were too many memories of her relationship with Steve, and then Steve had managed to stumble upon her new workplace by accident. But she realised now how many good memories were associated with the farm – growing up with a relatively happy childhood, the friends she still had here that she'd known since she was a kid – the memories of her mother and sister which didn't hurt as much as they once had... yes, it was good to be back, even if she now considered Sydney to be home. Laughing spontaneously, she kicked her horse into a gallop. Jack struggled to keep up, although it was nice to hear her laugh.

"Oh, God, I am going to get you for this," he complained when, without warning his horse jumped the fence. "Jesus Christ, don't these things slow down or something?"

"What, you want him to run straight into the fence?" she asked with a smirk. "He's the most docile horse around, he won't throw you. You can't say you're not having fun. Relax and get him to gallop like I showed you."

There _was_ something to be said about the feel of racing through the farm, although he never lost the apprehensive feeling when his horse jumped a fence. Why did this place have so many of them?

"To keep the sheep in and from trampling over the wheat and barely," Gabrielle reminded him. "We have cows and pigs too, but that's only 'cos Gina's really particular about what meat we have. And a hobby garden, too," she added.

"That's what Woolies is for," Jack said. He'd poke his tongue out of her if he could managed to get his horse abreast of hers."Our food is so much better than what you get at Woolies," she retorted. "Speaking of which, are you hungry yet?"

"No," he lied, although his stomach was starting to rumble. He wouldn't give Gabrielle the satisfaction of saying _I told you so_ over the fact he wished he'd eaten that bacon now. He concentrated on the passing countryside, and suddenly understood why Gabrielle had such a strong connection with this place. There was something serene about the endless acres that were all her family's, far more serene that the urban sprawl of Sydney. And there was something cleaner about the air.

"That's just grass and trees – y'know, nature," Gabrielle said when Jack expressed his sentiment. But he got points for being in tune with his surroundings enough to appreciate it. "We should come out here with Sara at some point. She loves racing around on her pony, and she wouldn't be a much better rider than you."

That did it. With surprising skill, given his complete lack of experience, he got his horse to overtake Gabrielle's and come to a stop in front of it, forcing it to stop. He grinned triumphantly at her, and he looked like a schoolboy who'd just pulled off a particularly clever prank. She smiled back at him. He looked adorable, and she bet it had been a while since he'd taken pleasure out of something so innocent and childlike.

For a few hours they went through the farm, Gabrielle pointing out various sights and explaining how things worked. She didn't know if he was genuinely interested or just feeling guilty for behaving badly that morning but he asked a lot of questions and she appreciated the effort. Of course, he was too proud to admit after a few hours he was absolutely starving, but she could tell he was peaked. Well, a break by the creek would fix him up.

"It's pretty," Jack conceded. It was a creek that ran down one side of the property that had always been a good source of yabbies and freshwater fish. She had loved coming here from the day she and her sister had first discovered it. It had been their place.

"It was my and my sister's place," she admitted. "I've never brought anyone else here, not even Steve."

"I'm flattered then," he said, surprised to find that he actually was. "But how come you've never mentioned your sister before yesterday."

"She died," Gabrielle admitted.

"I'm sorry. If you don't mind me asking –"

"Her husband was drunk at the wheel," she said flatly. "He shot through soon after, couldn't deal with the guilt, I guess. He sends money from time to time but mostly we don't hear from him. Their daughter Sara's effectively an orphan."

"Jesus," Jack said. He couldn't comprehend how someone could neglect their kid like that. "No wonder your dad's got no tolerance for losers. You girls sure know how to pick 'em."

"Yeah, because you're relationship history is so much better," she retorted. But for some reason she wasn't too rattled about talking about Kitty."Help me get all this stuff off." She'd loaded the horses down with fishing equipment and the yabbie traps as well as loads of water and the picnic lunch.

"What was she like?" Jack asked as he helped her get the gear off the horses.

"Kitty? She was older than me – I used to look up to her. She took shameless advantage of that at times, getting me to run her errands and stuff – I'm sure you would have been a terror to Rebecca if you'd grown up together," she added with a smile. She went on to talk about growing up together with Ben, how they'd all been close but she and Kitty especially had been close, more like maternal twins than plain old siblings. "Sorry, I'm blathering," she said after several minutes of talking about inane things they had done as children while she and Jack spread out lunch. There was something about being here, in this place, with Jack, who was closer to his sister than most, that made talking about Kitty a nostalgic experience rather than an upsetting one.

"It's cool. I like hearing about your life. God, this looks good."

"It's deep fried," Gabrielle teased.

"I'm starving," he admitted. "I'll take my chances."

"Told you that you should have eaten more at breakfast."

"Don't you start." But he was in a surprisingly good mood – maybe it was just the sight of a pile of delicious-looking chicken, as well as potato and garden salad, fresh bread and leftover apple crumble from last night. "I can't remember the last time I was this hungry," he admitted. "Maybe it's Gina's cooking."

_Maybe it's the fact you haven't had a drink in three days_, she thought. After they had finished lunch, they lay on the grass for a little while. "Man, this is so serene, I could fall asleep," he said.

She swatted his head playfully. "Don't you dare! I want you to be tired tonight so you fall asleep quickly. Besides, we have stuff to do. Get up." She tugged at his arm. "Come on, get up."

He responding to having his peaceful nap in the sun interrupted by grabbing her wrists and pulling her on top of him, forcing her to straddle him unless she wanted to fall awkwardly. "Make me get up now," he said smugly, holding her wrists in front of her.

"Jack! Let go!" Jack _would_ be the type of guy who enjoyed making her squirm. She struggled against his hold without much luck. She'd known he was strong, but this – and the odd thing is, she didn't feel overpowered by him.

"Didn't realise low fat percentage equals high muscle percentage, did you?"

"Jack, if you don't let me go, you're going to leave bruises, and then you'll have to answer to my dad. Who has a small armoury in guns."

With perfect timing, Jack let go of her wrists so she fell forward. She landed awkwardly on her wrists, her face inches from his. He was grinning at her, his eyes sparkling with mischief. God, he had gorgeous eyes. He wasn't playing fair. She cried out in a highly convincing manner so he quickly pulled himself up and took her hands in his. "I'm so sorry," he said, flexing them gently to see how badly she'd been hurt. "I was only mucking around." He saw the glint in her eyes. "You cow! I felt bad that I'd hurt you."

"That'll teach you to screw with me on my turf," she replied. God, but he'd looked cute when he was worried about her.

"If I have to spend the rest of the time I'm stuck here thinking about it, I'll get you back," he promised.

"Because you've demonstrated so much aptitude for farm life so far," she said. God, she wished he didn't look so alluring when his eyes were sparkling with the thought of practical jokes. Why did the first fun thoughts he'd had in God knew how many months have to be at her expense? She got to her feet. "Come on, you're going to help me set the yabby traps then I'll show you some more of the farm." Then she'd take great pleasure in watching him make an ass of himself.

Maybe it was that his stomach was full, maybe it was that he was more confident about riding, but he found the afternoon ride a lot more pleasant than the morning one. He was almost disappointed when they returned to the pleasant little creek a few hours later. He shivered when he saw the little blue creatures crawling around in the traps. "I promise they taste nice," Gabrielle teased, thoroughly amused that a surgeon could get queasy just watching a few yabbys crawl around in a cage.

He took to fishing with even more clumsiness than he did horse riding. But then, he had already established himself as someone who only liked to see the end result of food – scaled, skinned fish, cut up steaks, dressed legs of lamb. How could he be comfortable slicing _people_ up but squeamish about a fish wriggling on a hook? At least he seemed pleased when he finally caught his own fish. His increasing frustration made her think of a scene from _Boston Legal_, when Denny had aimed a gun into the water and shot it rather than return empty-handed.

When they returned to the house an hour later, Gina was in the kitchen to greet them. She noticed Jack seemed a lot calmer. And Gabrielle looked pleased with herself. Gina wondered how much of it was spending time with Jack and how much of it was the sheer amusement of putting a city boy through his paces. "Enjoy yourselves?" she asked.

Jack made a face. "Food isn't meant to wriggle around," he said.

Gina and Gabrielle exchanged a look that said _just wait until you have to kill something with four feet_. "Why don't you take everything out to Ben," Gina suggested. "Anything that swims isn't my specialty but Ben has a talent for it."

Jack took everything out to the back porch. "Fresh fish is delicious, but Gina won't stand for the small of it being prepared in her kitchen," he said, emphasising the fact that Gina considered it to be 'her' kitchen. "You ever gutted a fish?"

Jack took a step back, as if Ben would force the knife into his hand should he be within arm's reach. "Ew, no," he said.

Ben took out a second knife, holding it delicately by the blade and extended it in Jack's direction. Jack remained out of arm's length. "How is gutting a fish any different to cutting open a person?" he asked.

"I don't _eat_ the people I cut up," Jack pointed out.

Ben made a face at the visual. "Stop being a pansy." He was already learning Gabrielle's knack of getting Jack to do things by implying that he wasn't capable of it. Jack wrinkled his nose but took the knife. "What's the deal with you guys?" he asked. Like Gina, only less perceptively, he had realised there was something simmering between his sister and Jack. He might even approve, if Jack dropped the bratty behaviour whenever he was confronted with something he wasn't used to.

"She's my best friend."

"And that's all? Look, I don't mean to pry, but she's gone to a fair bit of effort for you and she talks about you all the time – no-one's meant that much to her since Steve."

Jack made a face. "I hate being compared to him. You, your dad –"

"What's the deal between them?" Ben asked. "I don't remember him much, I was only fifteen when they broke up, but I liked him and then one day he was just gone and Gabby and dad wouldn't talk about it. She hasn't been the same since." And she certainly hadn't expressed any interest in bringing someone to the farm.

Ben's comment about his age piqued Jack's interest, and he stored it away to bring it up with her later. "That's really her business," he said. "What was she like before they broke up, do you remember?"

"A lot happier. Like I said, I was a typically self-absorbed fifteen-year-old so I didn't pay much attention at the time, but it was like this light just went out. She didn't take enjoyment out of things the way she used to. It didn't help – did she tell you about Kitty?"

"Her husband was drunk at the wheel, yeah."

"It happened shortly after she and Steve broke up, and I think it was harder on her then it could have been because she didn't have anyone who could support her. She used to always complain about being the middle child, but all of a sudden she was the oldest and she felt she had to look after me and dad and Sara. Sometimes I think that's why she moved to Sydney, there was too much loss here."

Jack pondered Ben's words. He would have liked to have known Gabrielle before Steve broke her heart. He and Gabrielle had shared a few nights when they'd had fun with a good movie and a good bottle of wine and her vibrancy had struck him. Those moments had been few and far between, and not since she had kissed him, and now he wondered what she would be like if she was vibrant like that all the time.

His thoughts were interrupted by the excited squealing of a young girl. "What the...?" Jack asked, putting down his knife and turning to head back into the house.

"Leave them," Ben said, pleasantly but firmly. "That's just Sara home from school. She and Gabrielle haven't seen each other in three years."

Jack went back to his fish. For the first time, it stuck him how difficult it must be for Gabrielle to be so far from her family. He and Rebecca saw each other at least once a month, and they had only known each other not much longer than Gabrielle had been away from her family. He couldn't fathom not seeing her for years on end.. He asked what Sara was like. "A really sweet kid, but she has her moments when she misses Kitty and her father – " Ben spoke _her father_ as if they were dirty words " – and becomes really withdrawn. Dad, Gina, Billy and I do what we can, but it can't be good for her not to have parents. She needs a mum and a dad."

"Amen to that," Jack said softly, thinking about his own childhood and how different his life might have been if he'd had parents who loved him.

Fifteen minutes later, Gabrielle came out, with an adorable little girl who Jack guessed to be six or seven was holding her hand tightly. Gabrielle's face was flushed with happiness and Jack was struck by the thought she would make an amazing mum if the way being with Sara lit her up like that – and the way Sara was holding onto her hand with possessive pride. "Uncle Ben!" Sara cried, letting go of Gabrielle's hand so she could wrap her arms around Ben's legs.

"Jack, this is our niece, Sara," Gabrielle gave an unnecessary introduction."Sara, this is my friend Jack. He'll be staying with us for a while."

Sara detached herself from Ben and look at Jack inquisitively. Jack figured Kitty and Gabrielle must have looked similar, because Sara bore a strong resemblance to Gabrielle with her blond curly hair, neatly braided, and fair complexion which emphasised the green flecks in her eyes. "Hello," she said shyly.

"Hi," Jack said, kneeling so he could meet her eyes. "You look just like your aunt, you know."

She squirmed with pleasure at this. She adored her aunt and any comparison made her happy. She decided she liked this man who thought she looked like her aunt. Besides, he had a nice smile. "I got an A for my creative writing," she said.

"Yeah? What was it about?"

"My pet Minty." Remembering, Sara turned to Gabrielle. "You have to meet Minty," she said.

"That's right, I forgot," Gabrielle said. Jack asked who Minty was. "This lamb – well, a sheep now – that was abandoned by her mother. I wasn't here at the time, but she was really sickly and Sara made Billy stay up for three nights to save her. She's back with the rest of the sheep now, but Sara won't allow her to be sold – she can be quite the little tyrant sometimes – and now she's her pet."

"I'm sorry, you can tell one sheep from however many thousands you must have?" Jack asked incredulously.

Ben was partly amused and partly insulted that Jack seemed to think just because they were farmers, they had a supernatural recognition of every individual head of livestock they owned – which he was corrected on one thing, they ran into the thousands. Then he remembered that his experience with sheep was limited to picking up lamb cutlets from the butchers. "Sheep are fairly skittish animals who don't like being apart from the herd. Minty's the only one who comes up to humans to be petted."

A few hours later, the seven of them sat down to dinner. The fish and yabbys smelled a lot better than they had uncooked – and looked a lot nicer when the fish didn't have its scales and the yabbys weren't crawling around. "You do this well, Ben," Jack said.

"Gina's almost as bad as you when it comes to handling fish," Ben said, which got a few laughs out of people. "And like you, she has no problem with the end result. I can't do miracles with potatoes like she can, though," he conceded to placate Gina.

"Sara, you look like you haven't eaten all week," Jack noticed. The little girl was attacking her fried potatoes like it was the most delicious thing ever – although he had to admit, she _was_ a pretty talented cook.

"The cafeteria food is yucky," Sara proclaimed with authority to match Gordon Ramsey.

"Can't be any worse than our hospital food," Jack challenged. She was totally adorable, cute and precocious. Kind of like Gabrielle. It wasn't fair that someone so adorable had suffered so much in her short life. He smiled ruefully at that.

After dinner – and another delicious dessert made by Gina, too good to think about his precious ten percent fat content – they all sat on the living room floor for a game of Monopoly; Gabrielle warned everyone against playing Scrabble with Jack, the man was a human dictionary. It was a family tradition that they spent Friday nights playing games. Jack hadn't realised some families actually did that. Sara sat between Gabrielle and Jack and struggled to stay awake. "Think it's time you went to bed, sweetheart," Jack said when Sara curled up against him, her head on his lap.

"Want to stay up," she mumbled sleepily. "Want to stay with you and Auntie Gabby."

"Tell you what, how about we all do something tomorrow?" she offered. "And if you want, we'll read you a story. What's your favourite book?"

"Don't have books."

Jack's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean, you don't have books? All children have books."

Sara shrugged as if it was perfectly ordinary that she didn't have any books to have read to her. "Grandad and Uncle Ben don't know what books girls like."

Jack shot a look at Gabrielle. "Hey, don't pin this on me," she said indignantly. "Mum wasn't a big reader, either."

"OK then Sara, you're in luck, because I know a girl about your age and I know what kind of books girls like. I know them so well I don't even need the book. In fact, I know a story about a girl who's name is Sara, too." He picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Does it have a happy ending?" she asked.

"Of course," he said, thinking to tell her the movie ending when the father turned out to be alive rather than the book ending where he didn't...

... "I never knew you were such a good storyteller," Gabrielle said later. She was giving Jack his promised backrub; she figured he deserved some pampering after being so good with Sara. She knew he had a knack with children, but with Sara there had been an instant bond between them. Steve had certainly never had that connection with her. "It was a nice touch, calling her character Sara, too."

Jack laughed, then realised Gabrielle was being serious. "You really didn't have someone to read to you when you were a girl, did you?" he asked. "Man, you had such a deprived childhood."

"Coming from you? I don't think so. But seriously, you were good with her. She can become very withdrawn sometimes."

"Ben told me. It must be incredibly hard."

"I think so, yeah. I mean, she doesn't talk about it, but it can't be good to lose your parents so young. I think in some ways it's harder that her dad isn't dead, he just didn't want the responsibility. You know, when Steve and I were together the second time, when he was sober he talked about one day getting married and adopting her," she remembered wistfully.

"You know it was for the best. Steve isn't exactly in a position to be a parent right now. But you – you can tell she totally worships you. It's such a shame you don't see her much."

"I think she worships me _because_ I don't see her much – y'know, the whole you-get-excited-over-the-thing-you-don't-get-much. The novelty factor."

"Don't sell yourself short. I reckon you'd make a fantastic mother." Jack groaned when Gabrielle hit a particularly sore spot. "Everything hurts," he complained. "I can't believe how much everything hurts. Hey, I didn't say _stop_," he said when she withdrew her hands. Gabrielle certainly knew what she was doing and besides, she was the only person he was comfortable touching him. She was right about a backrub being relaxing, and he found himself drifting off with far more ease than he would have thought without his diazepam.

She felt him relax underneath her and his breathing become deeper as a sign that he had fallen asleep. She got off him, smiling triumphantly. It wasn't much, but it was still the first night in God knew how long that he'd gone to sleep without the help of drugs or alcohol. With deceptive strength that her figure didn't display, she brought her arms under his body and turned him onto his back. She knew he couldn't sleep on his stomach and didn't want him waking up distressed or from a nightmare. Exhaustion was written on his face... but there was also a peacefulness there. She stroked his hair and leaned in to kiss his forehead. He made a contented murmuring sound at the caress. She got up and walked to the door, glancing at him affectionately at him before she shut the door behind her and left him to a deep and drug-free sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, guys! Sorry for the delay. Kind of a short chapter, I had writers bloc. But the fans have spoken - you want The Farm. Next chap will most likely be a Baby fic, but more Farm after that, I promise!**

"You ride like a city boy," Sara complained.

"I _am_ a city boy," Jack defended himself indignantly. "And if you don't like it, there's Lady Katherine." Indeed, Sara's pony, trotting alongside Jack's horse, riderless, looked extremely put-out over her abandonment and even that she blamed Jack for it. Sara had remained on her Lady Katherine for all of a few kilometres before she had decided she'd rather take turns riding upfront with Jack and Gabrielle. Jack wasn't comfortable with having the child rein-less in front of him, but Gabrielle assured him that Sara had excellent balance – like Gabrielle herself, she had been riding since she had been able to hold herself upright and grip the reigns – and besides, Jack had been given the most docile horse in the stable.

His threat to put Sara back on her pony quietened her. She loved being with Jack and Gabrielle. She adored her aunt, and her friend understood her in a way that few adults did. She was astute enough to appreciate the way he tried to wrap his arm around her waist, albeit awkwardly while still holding onto the rein, every time the horse stumbled in the slightest, even though everyone knew you didn't confuse a horse by jerking around with the reins like that. "Jack, do you have any more stories?" she asked.

"I've got plenty, princess," he said. "There's one about a girl Mary who goes to live in a big farm like this in England after her parents died, and another about a girl called Anne who gets adopted and is always making mistakes but she's a sweet girl, like you. And..." Christ, he had read too many books in the course of doting on Lucy, and he hadn't even gotten into the Hans Anderson and Grimm Brothers stories. "But I'll tell one to you tonight."

There was a small shaded area about ten kilometres from the house that was Sara's place as much as the creek was Gabrielle's, and they went there for a picnic. Jack got off his horse and helped Sara down. She was reluctant to unwrap her legs from around his waist and be put down on the ground. But once on the ground, she ran to Gabrielle. "What's for lunch?" she asked.

"Sandwiches, potato salad and juice," Gabrielle said. "And some muffins if you be a good girl and don't keep making fun of the fact that Jack can't ride for anything." She laughed at the look in Jack's eyes; both grateful and indignant. Sara helped Jack and Gabrielle set everything out, then Gabrielle handed her a sandwich filled with chicken that had been killed the day before. It was her favourite meat. Sara gobbled it down. "Just you wait, you'll be killing and skinning a chook before you know it," she threatened.

"Don't count on it," Jack retorted. Sara watched them with interested. They made fun of each other, but they weren't mean about it.

"Jack," Sara said a little while later. "What was that other girl like? The one you read the stories to?"

"Lucy?" Jack supplied, surprised at the question. "She's my ex-girlfriend's step-daughter. She's about your age."

"Do you still love her?" Gabrielle smirked at this. She had warned Jack Sara was inquisitive.

"You mean Lucy or her step-mum?"

"Both."

"Well, there's different ways of loving a person. Not the way I used to. We're just friends now. We make better friends than we did a couple."

Sara seemed satisfied with this answer and let Jack engage her in talk about her school achievements. "Sorry about that," Gabrielle said later on. "She can be kind of nosy."

"It's fine. To tell the truth, I hadn't thought about our relationship in ages."

"Did you mean what you said?" she asked. She had been embarrassed that Sara had been so inquisitive about Jack's private life, she knew he liked to keep it to himself, but his answers had piqued her curiosity. "About you and her being better friends than a couple?"

"Yeah. I wish we'd been friends first – I probably would have realised how unsuited we were as a couple. I think it's good to be friends with someone first. But that's easy to say in retrospect," he added ruefully. He had certainly never taken his own advice about only dating people he knew first as friends.

"Sounds like sound advice," she agreed, just as rueful. Maybe if she'd been less in awe of how good-looking and sophisticated an older man Steve had seemed like, she would have been more cautious. Besides, she couldn't imagine going through the getting-to-know-you phase of dating someone new all over again. But then, she couldn't imagine starting all over again on the getting-to-know-you front when she and Jack were so comfortable with each other...

... Gina watched Gabrielle, Sara and Jack enter the house together, Sara in Jack's arms, her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms around his neck, with Gabrielle on his other side. It struck Gina that Gabrielle seemed to look like she wouldn't mind being in Sara's position. "Have fun?" she asked. Sara wriggled happily in Jack's arms, which made Gina smile. Typical of a child to prefer the company of a stranger and a relative she hadn't seen in years than the people who took care of her week to week. "Sara, why don't you go have a shower before dinner. Your aunt and Jack can help me with dinner... if they haven't already spoilt their appetites"

Jack had thought he was full from sandwiches and muffins, but as soon as Gina mentioned dinner and he took time to smell it, he was hungry again. "Smells great," he said appreciatively. "I'm going to put on ten kilos before I leave."

"You could do with it," Gina returned. She expertly floured lamb cutlets. Which reminded her – "Did Sara show you Minty?"

Jack made a face. The affectionate sheep and the cutlets they were having for dinner was not a connection he cared to make. Like a lot of omnivores, he preferred not to think about the fact his dinner had once been a living, breathing animal. "I didn't realise sheep were so shy," he said. "They're always so cute and friendly in the movies."

"What, your understanding of farm life comes from _Babe_?" Gabrielle teased.

"_Animal Farm_, actually," Jack returned. "You know, one of those intellectual books. You should try it sometime."

Gabrielle made a face. Just the thought of cracking one of those doorstops that filled Jack's bookshelf bored her. "Jack thinks it cool that he can read _War and Peace_ in German," she explained to Gina.

"Russian," Jack corrected. Sometimes he wondered if Gabrielle really was that ignorant of the literature he preferred or she just faked it to get a rise out of him. He wouldn't put the latter past her.

"Whatever." She flashed him a cheeky grin that made him feel odd, having Gina close by. It wasn't like they were _doing_ anything but that 'nothing' still felt like they should be by themselves.

"You did great, as usual," Jack complimented Gina after dinner. "What spices do you use?"

"Just garlic and pepper. I think you'll find it's the quality of the meat. I doubt the butcher you buy your meat at can claim the lamb was still bleating the day before." Gina smiled when she saw Jack pale at the thought of his lamb chops being a bleating baby sheep the day before didn't sit well with him. She shared a conspirational smile with Gabrielle. "The farm hands start mulesing on Monday, you should give Jack a... uh... _education_."

There was a round of laughter at the table that Jack was excluded from. "I don't get it," he said, frowning. They were having a joke at his expense, but he couldn't work out the punchline.

"Mulesing is when you cut off the lamb's tails," Russel offered. Jack was growing on him, but it was still amusing to watch him squirm. "It prevents something called flystrike. You probably didn't notice, but none of the sheep had tails."

"That's horrible!" Jack said. He hadn't noticed there were no tails on the sheep, but he wasn't in the habit of checking for evidence of mass maiming.

"What's horrible is a slow and agonising death from flystrike," Russel said, and went into a descriptive explanation of the disease until Jack was looking very pale.

"Dad, I think Jack doesn't need to hear a detailed description of a horrible disease – matter of fact, neither does Sara," Gabrielle finally interrupted. She was quite enjoying seeing Jack squirm, although there was a point where Russel took it too far and it was just a bit pitying seeing Jack so out of his element.

Jack looked relieved at Gabrielle's intervention – even if she _had_ just compared his tolerance of the gruesome to a seven-year-old girl's. "Sara, why don't I tell you another story?" he asked. Between Frances Burnett and Louisa May Alcott, he figured he had plenty of stalling time before Russel decided it would be amusing to gross him out again.

* * *

"Jack, for heaven's sake, if you wanted to swap the horses for quads, you could have just said so. You don't have to dig the spurs in until you hurt the poor creature. If someone from animal welfare could see you, they'd have you charged with cruelty."

Jack glared at Gabrielle. She pretended not to notice – or maybe she was just in such a surly mood that she was oblivious to anyone else's foul-moodedness – even foulness that she'd caused herself. She had been surly ever since they had dropped Sara off at school in the morning. Even the promise that Sara had extracted out of both of them that they'd attend her netball game on Wednesday hadn't made her feel any better. She was in a slump and determined to stay that way. Now what had a few days ago been perfectly adequate horseriding skills for a newbie was now ineptitude and animal cruelty. He knew she was lashing out at him and tried to be understanding because of it, but there were only so many snarky comments he could take. He _got_ that she missed her niece – she hadn't seen her for three years and then enjoyed a weekend, the three of them, only to have to return Sara to school at the end of it. That had to suck for her. He still missed Lucy, missed Sara herself, and he understood how she felt. But that didn't give her the right to take her surliness out on him.

She hadn't come through on her mulesing promise yet. Jack suspected it was just that she was in too foul a mood herself to put herself through it, and he was grateful for small things. But after a few hours, he was starting to wish he could be out with Russel, Ben and the rest of the farm crew and not being snapped at over any little thing.

Jack wasn't the only one to notice Gabrielle was in a foul mood. "Jack, is something wrong with Gabby?" Gina asked that evening while Gabrielle was having a shower.

"Just misses Sara, I think. I think she'd been away for so long that she forgot how much she's connected to this place – and the people. Sara wasn't in school when Gabby was last here, was she?"

Gina nodded. That made sense. She'd never thought it was healthy for Gabrielle to have nothing to do with the farm since she had left – sure, she called and wrote all the time, but that wasn't the same thing as actually being on the property, playing with Sara, kicking up the grass with her horse, eating fish that had been caught that day and lamb that had been slaughtered the day before. Jack was a city boy who's experience with farm life extended to playing with a dog in the park, and after a few days he was flourishing How much harder was it for someone who had grown up in the life and turned her back from it for so long? "Do you want me to talk to her?" Gina offered.

"Nah, I think I know what it is – I mean, more than just missing Sara and that. But it's only a hunch and I don't want to go telling everyone my theories. I'll just see if she wants to go for a walk or something later. Being in the sun all day wouldn't have helped her mood, maybe she'll be nicer when it's cooler."

Gina smiled. Jack had a certain insight into Gabrielle's behaviour. Maybe living in Sydney hadn't been all that bad for her. Jack, for all his initial surliness, was a definite improvement on Steve.

It turned out, and Gina denied any intervention, that Billy was an avid astronomer who had taught both Gabrielle and Ben how to tell where they were by the stars. He brought it up at dinner, and Jack saw his opportunity to get Gabrielle out for a walk. "I know the Southern Cross is that kite-shaped one, but I swear there are several that meet that description and I'm always getting it wrong," he admitted.

"You should get Gabrielle to show you," Billy said, a little put out that, city boy though he was, Jack didn't know the difference between one 'kite-shaped' constellation and another. Gabrielle protested – she really didn't feel like putting up with what she had no doubt would be Jack's inability to tell the difference between various constellations, let alone all the 'kite-shaped' ones. (Really, like it was _hard_ to pick out one of the most famous constellations in the hemisphere.) But Billy insisted, and started up on a spiel about how beautiful it was at night when there was no fog, no skyscrapers to block your view... Gabrielle agreed to take Jack out. She got the feeling she had just been snookered, but how and for what reason, she didn't know.

Jack applied his considerable intelligence and memory skills to learning the constellations as Gabrielle pointed them out, rapid-fire. He actually found it interesting, which surprised him – who would have thought a bunch of rocks a billion kilometres away would be fun to learn about? "And you can really tell where you are from the angle?" he asked incredulously.

"That will take a little longer than a few minutes in the backyard," she said. She was surprised at how much more relaxed she was now that it was cooler. She had been short with Jack, she knew, partly because of the heat and partly because she'd missed Sara desperately. She hadn't thought she was _capable_ of missing the child so much – after all, she hadn't seen her in three years. But then she remembered how much she had missed Sara when she had first left the farm. Family was kind of like that.

They were lying on their backs on the grass. "I'd forgotten how peaceful it can be at night," she said. Their house was hardly in the CBD, but there were always passing cars and people with their pets walking by. But despite the peacefulness, there were always noises – crickets chirping, the family dogs pottering around, the whistle of the leaves on the trees. _Peaceful_. "Look, I'm sorry that I was short with you earlier," she apologised. "The, uh, heat got to me." Which was close enough to the truth.

"It's OK," he said. "I figured you kind of missed Sara, too."

She stirred in his arms. "What makes you say that?"

"Hell, Gabs, _I_ miss her, and I've only known her for a weekend – I didn't even know you had a sister, let alone a niece, until a few hours ago. It's OK to miss your family. Speaking of which, Ben said something before that made me curious."

"Yeah?" she asked cautiously. She didn't know how she felt about Jack and Ben talking about her behind her back... like two of the people who knew her the best were comparing notes on her.

"Oh, he just said he was fifteen when Kitty died and you were twenty and that it was only a few months after you and Steve. It must have been hard to lose two people so close to you in such a short period of time."

"Three," Gabrielle said, her shortness back. She didn't like to be reminded of such a sad period in her life.

She was about to continue that Jack and Ben had had no right to be talking about such a thing behind her back before he repeated, "Three?"

"Ashley."

"Who's Ashley?"

"I told you about Ashley. She was my best friend."

"Oh." Ashley Jones, her best friend from childhood. They had gone to nursing school together, Ashley had been almost as much of a sister to her as Kitty had been. At least before she had started an affair with Steve. "I can't imagine what that must have been like for you." To lose three people close to her in such a short period of time, two of them to deep betrayal. Sometimes that kind of betrayal was worse than death. "I'm sorry."

"It's no big deal. It was ages ago."

"Is that why you never talk about it? Is that why the only time you've been back in three years is because you decided to take it upon yourself to help me out?"

"Drop it, Jack."

Well, what was she going to do? She had dragged him out here to deal with his demons and he wasn't allowed to make her deal with hers? Besides, if she sent him home rather than deal with her own issues, she hardly had the right to turn around and demand he move out. "No," he said. "Your sister _died_, Gabs. You lost three people who meant the world to you in the space of a few months and you had your dad and brother to support, as well as Sara. You don't think that affected you? You don't think that took something from you? I know plenty about loss, babe. I know it takes something from you and pretending it didn't doesn't get it back."

"For pete's sake, Jack, I am not going to compare my sister dying to you spending your childhood being abused."

"And I'm not getting into a pissing contest with you over who's lost the most," he retorted. He eased himself into a sitting position and pulled her into his arms. She resisted, but he was stronger than her and wasn't above restraining her in his arms if he needed to. "Sweetheart, no-one knows better than me what it's like to lose something huge... what it's like to have something taken from you that... Ben said something that made me wish I'd known you when you were younger. I think you were so much happier then."

"I don't think I would have liked to have known you when you were younger," Gabrielle said, trying to be rude and surely so she wouldn't cry. "Charlotte said you used to be just as cocky and arrogant and determined to sleep with whoever took your fancy as Rebecca does now."

Despite the fact he was determined not to let Gabrielle distract him, he had to laugh at that. Charlotte's assessment of both him when they had first met when he'd been twenty-four and his sister as she was now was spot-on. "No, you probably wouldn't have liked me," he admitted. "But we're not talking about me, we're talking about _you_. This is _me_ you're talking to. You can't hide things from me any better than I can from you. That's how we ended up here, remember? I've seen the way you are with Sara, with Ben and your dad. There are moments when you smile and I realise how different you must have been and how much you must have lost that I've never seen you smile like that before. You can talk to me, you don't have to be strong with me."

"It's nothing, Jack. It was years ago." But he could tell she was wavering.

He kissed the top of her head gently, and eased his hold on her now that it was clear he didn't have to stop her from pulling away. "It takes a long time for it to stop hurting... especially if you don't let yourself grieve over it," he said softly. "Trust me, I know."

He'd been prepared for her to break, but he wasn't quite prepared for the way she wrapped her arms around his neck as if she were drowning and needed to cling to him and screamed, literally_ screamed_, in years worth of repressed grief. She sobbed in his arms for the loss of so many things, her mother, her sister, Steve, Ashley, and less tangible things like the loss of innocence and the security in the life she had thought she would always have with Steve, the close-as-sisters friendship she thought she would always have with Ashley, the family she thought she would always have to come home to, the lazy summer days, the cold winter nights by the fire... "It's not fair!" she cried. "Not fair..." Not fair that her brother-in-law's recklessness resulted in her sister's death and niece being orphaned and he got to walk away and start another life somewhere else. Not fair that Steve and Ashley got to indulge in their selfish desires and leave her to pick up the pieces. Not fair that some freak cell mutation had cost her mother's life. Not fair, not fair...

Jack held her as gently as he had held Sara. "I know it's not," he said, his voice soothing, belying the anger he felt that people like Steve and Ashley and her brother-in-law could behave so recklessly and selfishly and ruin the lives of good people. "That's good, cry it all out."

He held her for a good twenty minutes until her tears subsided. "Sorry," she sniffled, realising she'd gotten his shirt all wet.

"It's OK. How you feeling now?"

"Empty."

No point in telling her that empty was good. Empty meant letting go of so much repressed anger and sadness, like clearing out a house full of accumulated junk and rot and starting all over again. She'd learn that in her own time at her own pace. "I'm here for you, you know that, don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah. You're my best friend, Jack."

"I know. You're my best friend, too." She had made no effort to withdraw from his arms, and he made no effort to disentangle himself. It had been ages since he'd held a woman, and even longer since he'd held a woman without it being purely sexual.

After a few minutes of silence, she said, "Jack, can we stay out here for a while? I don't want dad and the others to see me like this."

"Of course. Just let me lie back down again, OK? My back is killing me. Keep telling me about these constellations. What's that one over there?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Gabs, where _did_ you find that hunky specimen of man and where can I get one for myself? Brad isn't nearly as cute." Julia Croft, Sara's teacher and an old friend of Gabrielle's, asked Gabrielle enviously while watching Jack and Sara in animated conversation from the refreshments table at halftime. And he was good with children, too.

"He's my housemate. We work together and he was keen to move out of where he was staying – his housemate was getting married, we've all been in a third-wheel situation – and I wanted some company so it worked out well. He's just a mate," she added, feeling a bit defensive. Why was it that when a girl and guy lived together people assumed they were a couple?

Julia looked at Gabrielle wide-eyed. "I'm sorry, you _live_ with that guy and nothing's happened between you?" she asked incredulously. Like hell _she_ would have such restraint.

Gabrielle shrugged. "He has a lot of baggage I never thought about it, to be honest. Oh, and anyway – Steve works in the same department and Jack's not really the type to get involved with a colleague's ex. He – oh, it's a long story but he did that once and I doubt he'd ever go there again."

Julia's brow crinkled in confusion. Gabrielle had shown up after three years, hunky guy in tow, and they were just mates and they both worked with Steve. Ex-boyfriend and general all-around jerk Steve Taylor. Julia and her brother Paula had never liked him, and Julia had agonised over the decision to tell Gabrielle when Steve had come onto her. Thankfully, his affair with Gabrielle's so-called best friend Ashley Jones had blown up before Julia had to be the bearer of bad news. "How can you stand working with him?" Julia asked.

"I got used to it. He's an alcoholic, you know," she confided. That didn't surprise Julia; everyone knew Steve drank far too much – and did rotten things when he did. "He's been dry now for about a year."

"Do you ever think about getting back together?" Julia couldn't help but ask.

"We did get back together, then his drinking really escalated. That's why we broke up – for the second time, I mean." Being here with Julia, who knew, as did pretty much everyone in the town and its surrounding farms, why she and Steve had broken up for the first time. "I used to watch him, after he went dry, I mean, and Julia, I know you never liked him but he's _such _a different person_._ So I watch him and I used to sometimes think if things would really be different a third time... but I don't know now." Somewhere along the line, things had changed, and she couldn't put her finger on when, where or how.

"He's great with her," Julia mused, watching Gabrielle's gaze move from her to Jack and Sara. She didn't miss the fact that Gabrielle's thoughts about reconciling with Steve had trailed off at the same time she had looked in Jack's direction.

"He gets kids," Gabrielle said.

"You don't think she'll get too attached to him?" Julia asked. The last thing someone as shy as Sara needed was to get too attached to someone who'd only be around for a little while. Ben may never be able to fill her parent's shoes, but at least he was there for her week in, week out.

"You really have to get to know Jack," Gabrielle defended him. "He adores kids. And it's not just that. He's insanely loyal. Once he takes the time to let someone in, he'll keep them a part of his life forever. He – _what_?" she asked, a little crossly, a little defensively when she caught Julia looking at her with a smirk on her face.

"Nothing," Julia said sweetly, thinking that she had never heard anyone, not even Gabrielle, say that Steve was 'great with kids' and 'insanely loyal'...

A few meters away, Jack ate oranges and drank cordial (yuk, cordial was full of processed sugar, loads of empty calories) with Sara. "So explain the rules. I don't play a lot of sport so I couldn't follow it to well," Jack lied, because the rules of netball weren't all that different to the rules of basketball and he had formed with enough sports freaks at uni to know the rules to basketball, rugby, AFL and tennis. Besides, Gabrielle had already explained. But he liked the way his interest made Sara happy and she babbled out an explanation. "And what position do you play?" he asked.

"Goal Defence."

"Is that an important position?"

Sara nodded. "I stop the other team getting goals."

"Sounds pretty important to me. I saw you stop that other girl – what's her position?"

"Goal Attack."

"Yeah, her. I saw you stop that other girl from shooting a goal twice. You did really well." Which was true enough, her team was winning, she didn't need to be told she'd done a good job, but Sara still enjoyed the praise.

The third quarter started, and Gabrielle took her seat next to Jack again. Jack brought his arm around her waist casually and let her rest her head on his shoulder. He was aware that that teacher of Sara's – Julie, Julianne? – was watching them, but he didn't care. They were mates, they were allowed to be affectionate.

Five minutes in, and the Goal Attack that Sara had been blocking got her revenge in a masterful shove that sent Sara sprawling. Jack jumped to his feet, incensed. The little cow had done it deliberately because she wasn't as good an attack as Sara was a defence, and he proclaimed so loudly. "Jack, shut up," Gabrielle said through gritted teeth. "It's just a game." And there were plenty of parents – including the GA's herself – who would barely tolerate that kind of behaviour from their own, let alone from a city boy with a someone tenuous link to the community.

Sara started wailing, and Jack shot across the court and picked her up easily and carried her to the sidelines. He waved absently in Gabrielle's direction, which she knew was Jack-speak for _first aid kit_. She brought it over to him, trying to explain that it was just a scraped knee and Sara had certainly suffered more than that in her life, but while Sara seemed to be in pain, Jack didn't much care for reason. He fussed over Sara with all the care you would have expected of a first-time parent, something that amused the other parents at the game; city boy fussing over a scraped knee when the child had no doubt broken bones over the years.

Sara was happy to sit on Jack lap for the rest of the game, not in the least bit disappointed that she missed out on the second half. After the game was over – Jack got a malicious sense of pleasure out of the fact Sara's team won, and the GA fared no better with Sara's replacement. "What's this Mario's that everyone's planning to go to?" he asked Sara as the players met up with their parents. He didn't miss the fact that Sara shifted restlessly in his lap at the sight of all the families together – or at least mothers with their daughters.

Gabrielle knew where this conversation was going, and it wasn't going to end well. "It's where they go after netball each week," she said. "It's this family Italian place, the guy can do anything with a pizza base."

"Then let's go."

"It's where they go with their mums and dad after netball," Sara clarified.

"Ah." Jack remembered Gabrielle saying that her dad, Ben, Gina and Billy really didn't have the time to drive into town once a week to watch her netball games – just driving her to school on Monday and picking her up on Friday was trying on their time. He and Gabrielle could make it because they weren't considered part of the farm's crew so didn't have delegated responsibilities. He wondered when the last time had been that Sara had had someone show up. She wasn't the only child who boarded, of course; there were farms further away than the Jaeger one, children who only went home for the holidays, but Jack didn't care about them. He only cared about Sara. "Well, I know we're not your parents, but why don't we take you. Besides, I love pizza, and you wouldn't make me come all this way and miss out, would you?"

_Liar_, thought Gabrielle. Jack could rattle off the fat and calorie contents for a dozen different pizzas; it was something he steered clear of unless he had made it himself. But for Sara... her face lit up, because Jack had both given her what she wanted and made her feel like _she_ was doing something for _him_. "OK," she agreed.

A few meters away, Julia choked back the urge to laugh. She had known Sara was up to something when she had started wailing over a scraped knee. Only Jack would be fooled by such a minor injury from a child who had grown up falling off horses, quad bikes and various pieces of farm equipment – and Sara had played that to the hilt.

"I thought you loved pizza, Jack," Gabrielle couldn't resist teasing an hour later when Jack picked at a slice of cooling pizza, the cheese congealing, the pepperoni dripping oil onto the plate.

"I had too many oranges," he retorted. She was enjoying herself far too much, especially since he'd volunteered for this when Sara had looked so down about feeling she couldn't go to what was a tradition for girls and their parents. At least Sara seemed happy, although she kept jumping up and down on his lap and his thighs just seemed to be getting more and more pissed off at him over the abuse horse-riding put them through, rather than adjusting to the exercise. "Princess, I've got to get up and stretch my legs," he finally said when she jostled on his lap once too many times to bear. "Go sit on your aunt's lap." He handed her over to Gabrielle, taking pleasure from the way she flinched when Sara landed heavily on her weight. _Teach you to laugh at me_, he thought, laughing inwardly himself as he walked out onto the sidewalk. He leaned against the wall and stretched his legs out – those booths were made for his one-ninety frame about as well as the bed in the Jaeger's spare room was – and watched the traffic go by.

It was what he had expected of a small town. Widgee had a population of three thousand, plus the populations of the surrounding farms that it serviced. It wasn't big enough to warrant a takeaway chain, although it had its hamburger, sandwich and fried chicken joints, just mostly family-run in the same vein as Mario's instead of McDonalds, Subway and Kentucky Friend Chicken. He had to concede that Mario did a far better job that Pizza Hut, and wondered if the other establishments were improvements on their chain counterparts.

There was a more relaxed pace on the streets here – even the main street – that Jack rarely saw even in the suburbs. He was sure he would get bored of it after a while, but there was also something peaceful about not seeing people rushing around everywhere.

"You look like you could use a doctor yourself," came a voice behind him. Jack looked up. It was Sara's teacher – _Julia_, that was her name.

"I haven't ridden a horse since I was small enough to ride a pony and Gabby's got me riding one every day. You see how you feel having a child hopped up on red creaming soda jump up and down on your lap makes _you_ feel." It was a gripe, but there was a smile on his lips and in his eyes that made Julia wonder why on earth Gabrielle hadn't made her move. Good-looking, intelligent, good with children and a charm that was either sincere or brilliantly faked – and Gabrielle was a difficult person to fake out.

"She came to school yesterday so excited," Julia informed him. "I'd heard rumours that Gabrielle had come back for a visit and I thought that was what she was so happy about – Sara hasn't seen Gabrielle since shortly after – well, anyway –"

"You mean since shortly after Kitty died?" Jack offered. Julia nodded, looking surprised that Jack knew about that. "We're best friends, we tell each other everything. I know that her father's out there somewhere, too much of a jerk to own what he did, I know Steve cheated on her and Russel would meet him at the porch with a shotgun should Steve ever show his face at the farm again. And from what I understand, she was a much happier person a few years ago."

"She took a lot of blows," Julia said cautiously. "They all have. My brother, Paul, and her went to school together – they're the same age, they were even engaged when they were, like, seven. So I hope you can understand why I'm cautious about how attached Sara is to you already. She's old enough to remember her parents. They were probably better off telling her that her dad's dead than have her know that he just didn't care about her, at least not more than he did about his sense of guilt."

"That would probably come around to bite her on the ass one day," Jack said ruefully, thinking that he himself would probably have felt better knowing is mother had died rather than just abandoned him – but then he would never have been able to come to terms with her when she was dying. "I don't think it's fair to let children believe something about people and then have the rug pulled out from under them."

It was the perfect opening for Julia. "Is that what will happen when you go back to Sydney" she asked.

He looked at her directly, not liking the one in her voice. "How do you mean?"

"You're not here forever, Jack, I gathered that. Gabrielle didn't go into details, but she said something about you needing a break. Sara's completely taken with you. It's not fair to think that you're here to stay when – "

"When I'm not?" Jack offered. Julia looked guilty. "Julia, you don't know me, so I won't hold it against you. You don't have to trust me.. but I hope you trust Gabby's judgement, and she knows me better than anyone. She trusts me." Jack looked off in the distance for a second, and Julia sensed he was thinking of something unpleasant, but there was something about the way he did it at made her trust him. At least for the time being. She would get the juice on his later.

They chatted for a few more minutes, and Sara and Gabrielle came out. "Do you have to go back to the farm?" Sara asked wistfully.

"Sorry, honey," Gabrielle said. "But you'll come back on the weekend, like usual."

"Oh, Ben didn't tell you about the fair?" Julia asked. Gabrielle shook her head. "It's just a community fair on Saturday – I'm surprised no-one mentioned it to you." She turned to Jack. "I'm sure it's not as flash as anything you're used to, but everyone always has a good time and you might have a good time."

"Sounds good," Jack said, wondering what exactly a community fair in this kind of community entailed. He turned to Sara. "See, we'll make a trip up here on the weekend and you can laugh at me all over again when I don't know the things you do." Julia had to smile at that. Self-depreciation was rare in people.

"What's his deal?" Julia asked Gabrielle when the two women had a few minutes alone after they had dropped Sara back off at school. "He certainly has a knack for her."

"He's good with children," Gabrielle said, knowing how people loved to gossip in such small communities. "He'll make a good dad some day."

"You don't see that often in guys his age."

"Jack's not like anyone I've ever met, let alone 'guys his age'," Gabrielle commented. She wasn't going to tell Julia about Charlotte's miscarriage. It was too good a piece of news _not_ to pass on and besides, it was none of her business. And it wasn't something she really wanted her dad and Ben to find out about – getting your ex's girlfriend pregnant wasn't exactly good for your image. She didn't know why she cared so much that her dad and Ben not know, only that she didn't want them to think any less of him...

"You alright? You've been quiet all the way home. Don't tell me you're missing Sara again. I don't think I could take you being a bitch again," he kidded.

"Haha. I was just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"Doesn't matter." And it really didn't. Maybe her dad and Ben wouldn't be impressed if they knew the extent of his indiscretions, but she knew better than anyone else how over that part of his life he was. She hadn't known him then, but she had heard enough about him that she sometimes felt as if she had. And she'd certainly dealt with the consequences of his actions with Rachel. But that was over now. He wasn't the same person... he was her best friend, and she could never have shared her life with the man he had been the way she did now. She smiled at him. "You'll enjoy yourself on Saturday, I think," she said, changing the subject. God knew, he'd taken the country life far better than she'd thought he would.

* * *

"Jack, you can't ride around in that truck all day. That thing is meant for kids, you know. You'd think you'd never seen hay before."

"I haven't seen hay before," he countered, poking his tongue out at her. He had to admit, the fair was fun. The kind of kitsch, country fun he'd never thought he'd enjoy, but fun nonetheless. The oval and adjacent community hall that served for a dozen community functions from market stalls to football games had been crammed full of stall selling handicrafts, baked goods and hot food. It seemed every family in the town boasted a signature dish that was to die for. Jack thought he was going to go back to Sydney fifteen kilos heavier, and he complained so to Gabrielle, who just laughed. It was clear Jack was thoroughly enjoying himself – from hayrides to home-made ANZAC biscuits – and his complaining was just his way of saving face.

Sara was loving every minute as well. She enjoyed introducing Jack and Gabrielle to all her friends. Jack was learning quickly that his intellectual snobbery wouldn't go over well here – that, or he was learning to relax more than Gabrielle knew he could. She had even coaxed him out of the expensive shirts in pale, solid colours that he was so fond of (and that dirtied so easily) and into someone he had said looked like it had been pilfered from the set of _Blue Heelers_. In a chequered shirt and jeans, he looked far more at home here than in the clothes he usually wore."I'll turn you into a country boy yet," she teased.

"Don't count on it," he'd said, but his eyes were flashing with laughter that belied his anger.

"Jack, I want to catch up with Paul – that's Julia's brother –"

"The guy you were engaged to when you were seven?" Jack teased.

Gabrielle flashed a grin at him. "That's the one, you jealous?" she teased. He poked his tongue out at her again. "I want to catch up to Paul – if you want to go to Greg's, I'll meet up with you in, say, half an hour?"

"Who's Greg?" he asked.

"Greg is the owner of the microbrewery just over there," Gabrielle said, pointing. "He also does the best parmies – although if you reckon you've had too much to eat already..."

"Always the comedian, aren't you?" he asked. He couldn't help it; everything he'd eaten since coming here was _so good_, he was sure he'd step in there and be hungry all over again. "Doesn't anyone in this town have a last name?"

"No, we don't have the population to have last names... like in Ancient Greece. Just... go have fun, OK? I'm sure you'll find some pretty girl to flirt with." For some reason she couldn't explain, the idea of catching him flirting with a pretty girl made her feel uneasy. She left him to make his own way to the brewery and chased after Paul.

"Who's that?" Paul asked as soon as they had exchanged hugs. "Jules said she doesn't know anyone else who could live with such a – what was the word she used – absolute hunk of meat and not do anything?"

Gabrielle swatted him playfully. They had been friends for years and had fancied themselves in love at age six. They had never dated but remained close, although Paul had never approved of Steve, which had been a bone of contention between them. "We're just mates," she protested. Bloody hell, what was it with people, thinking there was something going on between them other that friendship? "Just because you don't understand that men and women can just be friends..."

He smirked. Gabrielle sounded like she was protesting too much. And he could too be friends with women – wasn't Gabrielle proof of that? That Steve Taylor had gotten there first had nothing to do with it. He wrapped his arm around her waist affectionately. "Tell me what's been going on with you? I hear you packed up and went all city girl on us...?"

Jack poked his head in the door of Greg's. He wasn't sure exactly what he was expecting, only that this wasn't some dingy country pub. It was large and spacious with a lot of charmingly rustic-looking furniture and plants everywhere. It looked like someone's massive, well-cared for backyard... albeit one that had a massive bar and giant kegs of beer everywhere.

"You're not from around here, are you?" the bartender asked.

Jack looked sheepish. "Is it that obvious?" he asked.

"I know everyone in this community," he bragged. He looked at Jack quizzically. "You're Gabby Jaeger's friend, aren't you?" he asked. Tall, good-looking – if you were into that clean-cut look – looking a little lost. And what was with that voice? He sounded like a city snob. The prodigal daughter returning home after three years with a good-looking, obviously single guy in tow was too good a piece of news not to gossip about. "I'm Greg."

Jack found the owner to be friendly and know what he was talking about, and the two men chatted for a few minutes before Jack took his beer and sat down at a secluded booth that would let him people-watch unnoticed. At least for a few minutes. From a few meters away, an attractive – in a trashy way – blond had noticed him, noticed that he obviously wasn't a local, and that this had to be the friend of Gabrielle Jaeger's that everyone had been talking about. She eyed him critically. How did Gabrielle always manage to get her mitts on such men? He was exceptionally good looking, even more so, she thought, if he dressed more like a city boy and not like the country boys she was so sick of. She bet he was bored and lonely, too. Nothing the company of an attractive, eager-to-please blond wouldn't fix,

She sauntered over. "Hi," she said seductively, and Jack looked up to see a fairly attractive woman, if you liked them in tight jeans, low-cut tops and hair teased within an inch of her life. "I thought you might like the company. And you don't even have to buy me a drink," she added with a tinkering laugh, holding up her own beer.

Jack smiled obligingly. He'd really felt like people-watching until Gabrielle arrived, but he didn't have the heart to tell this girl to go away. "Do you know anyone here?" she asked sympathetically. "I bet it's hard, coming to such a small town and having everyone looking at the stranger in town."

"It's not too bad, but then, this is only my second time into town. It's... not what I'm used to, I'll admit that. I've lived my whole life in Sydney so coming somewhere where everyone knows each other and no-one has a last name is a bit of a shock to the system. I can't believe you people don't lock your cars."

"Country life has its perks – we don't have the same levels of crime that you have in Sydney, or even bigger towns."

"You sound like low crime is the only perk you can think of," he commented. _Insightful as well as good-looking and intelligent_, she thought. Just the ticket she needed out of this town.

"It can get boring," she said. "And people can be so judgmental"

Jack had to laugh at that. "I've been accused of being too judgmental myself," he admitted. He decided he liked her. He could certainly think of worse ways to kill half an hour while waiting for Gabrielle to be done playing reunions with an ex than with an attractive, friendly blond. "I'm Jack," he said, holding out his hand.

She took it. He had a good handshake. Strong, like he was sure of himself, but none of that iron-fisted stuff that men liked to do to prove they were men. "Ashley," she simpered. "Ashley Jones."

Jack nearly spat out the beer he'd just taken a swig of. _Ashley Jones_. He'd thought she'd be much more trashy-looking than she was – but then, she would have had to have a certain appeal to attract Steve... not that he thought it took much to tempt Steve. But still – how could you do that to a best mate? Momentarily, he thought about hitting on Erica, which would have been just as big a betrayal as Ashley sleeping with Steve, and just the thought made him sick. How could Ashley have done such a thing? How could _Steve_?

He smiled to himself, suddenly guessing at Ashley's intentions. She knew who he was; everyone knew who he was, city boy looking out of place in a small country town, despite the stupid shirt that Gabrielle said was much more appropriate than his expensive, lightly-coloured shirts. She had approached him because he was Gabrielle's friend... and maybe her ticket out of this town. Why Ashley had bothered to stay for so long was beyond Jack - maybe she knew she wouldn't be able to handle the competition in Sydney. She was attractive, but no stunner. Charming and pretty enough to distract the local boys, but completely out of her league in a big city.

Suddenly he knew how to strike a blow for Gabrielle and all the hurt Ashley had inflicted on her.

... "It was pretty amazing. I mean, this guy was just haemorrhaging blood and I ended up doing this procedure I'd never done before... I get such a rush out of it. It's amazing to pull someone back from the brink of death – sometimes even from the grave."

Ashley smiled seductively, thoroughly enchanted by Jack. Intelligent, insightful, good-looking _and_ an incredibly talented doctor – what more could a girl ask for? She imagined her and Jack leaving this town together. Life in Widgee was so boring – boring country boys with no better prospects than running the family business or becoming mid-level management at the wheat co-op, small-minded, judgmental bigots who looked down on her just because she liked to have fun – how come they didn't look down on the boys she liked to have fun with? How come they blamed her for Steve and Gabrielle breaking up, and not Steve? Country people were such hypocrites, and it would give her great pleasure to see the back of this town, especially if she left it in the arms of a hunky surgeon with very bright prospects.

She slid her hand provocatively onto his knee. Jack did an excellent job of not reacting, despite the fact that Ashley hitting on him gave him the creeps. The idea of going to bed with her when she'd been with Steve grossed him out, although he never felt creeped out when Gabrielle touched him. "You're so clever," she said. Now was the time to make her move. "Look, I don't mean to be forward, but why don't you come over tonight? I'm an excellent cook." She was a lousy cook, but by the time he found that out, he would already be captivated by her many non-cooking talents.

He made a point of moving her hand away. She had walked right into the trap – and better still, he could see Gabrielle approaching the front entrance of the brewery. Perfect timing. "Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I have a girlfriend."

She smiled brightly, although inwardly she was cursing. Gabrielle had once again gotten the cream of the crop while she was stuck dating stupid country boys. Well, Gabrielle couldn't compete with her when it came to men – hadn't that already been established. She grinned wickedly to herself."I don't mind if you don't," she purred, putting her hand back on his knee.

He pushed it away again. "I mind," he said with quiet conviction that was absolutely sincere. "I couldn't do that to her. She's been cheated on before and I couldn't put her through that. Besides, that's why I'm here. I'm meeting Gabrielle's family"

Ashley couldn't keep the smile on her face. It was one thing for her to realise Jack was her boyfriend, another for it to be said out loud. She was in mid-scowl when she saw Gabrielle enter the brewery. She may not be able to tempt Jack away from her, but she could still do some damage. "Have it your way," she cooed. "But you could at least look presentable. Look, your collar's all crooked..."

...Gabrielle entered the brewery to see Jack with Ashley, of all people, and her heart plummeted. They were looking awfully cosy, with Ashley doing something with his shirt. _Always Ashley_. Growing up, Ashley had soon become known for her sexual favours – Steve had certainly known her intimately. It shouldn't have surprised her that Ashley would come onto Jack the minute he walked in the door – he was good-looking, intelligent, sweet and sensitive...

"Gabby!" Jack called to her, smiling and waving and pulling away from Ashley. "Gabs, babe, d'you know Ashley? We were just talking about you."

There was something in his eyes that made Gabrielle stop in her tracks – something that neither her or Ashley knew about, but something she was nonetheless meant to play along with. Jack held out his arms and before she could sit down, he'd grabbed her waist and pulled her in his lap. She sat, too surprised and confused to do anything, although she did quite like the way his arms closed around her waist. "Where's Sara?" he asked.

"With Paul. He doesn't think a brewery is the right place for a child so he's on baby-sitting duty." What on earth was he doing? He was nuzzling her neck like he was her boyfriend, and Ashley, sitting next to him, looked fit to be tied.

"I was just telling Ashley about you – I don't suppose you know each other? Everyone else in this town seems to know everyone," he added ruefully. "I swear, as if meeting your girlfriend's family wasn't bad enough, try meeting her entire country town."

It clicked. Jack had realised who Ashley was and made up some story about them being together. But _why_? At least Ashley was looking green with envy, which was always a good thing. Was _that_ why he had done it to let Ashley think she was living the life Ashley had always dreamed of – a management position in Sydney and a gorgeous boyfriend. She almost laughed. Jack had quite a spiteful streak, in a sweet, loyal way, of course. She turned her head slightly so she could kiss him as passionately as she dared – she knew how pissed off he had been when she'd kissed him at the wedding. After she pulled away, she buried her head in his shoulder, suddenly feeling very flushed. She had forgotten how soft Jack's lips were – or maybe she'd just been too drunk at the wedding to take notice. She found herself blushing, remembering that Jack had been too drunk _not_ to respond, and there had been that second where he'd put his tongue in her mouth and it was a real kiss. When she lifted her head, she saw that Ashley could barely contain herself. _Good_, she thought in a rare moment of spitefulness, _I hope you learn you don't always get what you want_.

"How long have you been together?" Ashley asked through gritted teeth. Gabrielle was looking awfully pleased with herself, the way she was running her fingers through his hair.

"Four months," Jack supplied. He was quite happy to let Gabrielle play with his hair. She knew how he liked to be touched. "Sometimes you move in with someone and everything just... _clicks_." Gabrielle marvelled at how sincere he sounded. "Sweetheart, why don't I get you a drink? Seems like the two of you could do with some catching up." He squeezed her slightly to indicate he wanted her to get off him, which she did. She watched him head back to the bar, grinning as she did.

"He's so sweet," Gabrielle said, buoyed on by Ashley's clear envy. "He's always doing little things like that. It's so nice to go home to have someone cooking for you. And he's _such_ an amazing kisser."

"You don't worry that he might turn out, you know, like Steve?" Ashley asked, trying to hit Gabrielle where it hurt.

"No. I never had what I have with Jack with Steve. Looking back, I realise I never really trusted him – I was so in awe of him, so infatuated with him, And I thought that was enough. But with Jack... he was my best friend before we got involved, and I trust him completely. He makes me feel so special... so appreciated. When I'm with him, I feel so... he's my world." She found it easy to say the words because they were, for the most part, true. She and Jack _did_ have something special, and she _did_ trust him more than she had Steve, and she _had_ mistaken awe and infatuation for trust... so it was easy to weave this fiction to Ashley. Especially when Ashley was looking so jealous...

... "You ever gone to bed with a surgeon, Ash?" Gabrielle asked an hour later. Paul had returned with Sara and Gabrielle was getting thoroughly drunk, enjoying needling Ashley more with every swig of her beer. "Man, I never realised how talented they are with their hands."

Jack gasped at the audacity of Gabrielle's comments. He'd intended to let her enjoy needling Ashley, not get drunk, make up stories about his sexual prowess and tell them loud enough for people to hear three tables away. He was grateful when Paul came in shortly with Sara in tow. "Think it's time we headed home," he said, because if Sara let something slip they were going to look pretty stupid – and besides, Gabrielle was going to lose it if she drank much more. "Give me your keys," he said.

Gabrielle giggled, on a high from both the potent beer that was Greg's trademark and the sheer pleasure of sticking it to Ashley. "I'm fine."

"You are not. Keys. You really think I'm letting you drive in your condition? Or that I'd trust my or Sara's life on your ability to drive right now? Really, of you of all people to think about drink-driving."

The words did a lot to sober Gabrielle, in thought if not in body. She fished the keys out of her bag and handed them to her. "Told you he's sweet," she giggled to Ashley. She let took more pleasure than she should of when Jack wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her.

"What's wrong with Aunty Gabby?" Sara asked when she saw how drunk her aunt was.

"She's just had a bit too much to drink," Jack said. "She'll be fine. But I'll drive us home."

"Aunty Gabby says you drive her car like you ride a horse," Sara said, and Jack found himself laughing.

"Aunty Gabby is in no position to drive and I'm sure I can handle her car to get home. I drove it most of the way here," he added. He could see Sara was unimpressed. Well, wait until he surprised her tonight Rebecca had come through for him over something he wanted, and he'd picked it up from the post office today.

He helped Gabrielle into the car. She looked cute when she was unco-ordinated from having had too much – just so long as she didn't try to kiss him again. "Surgeon's hands," she commented with a giggle when he helped her out of the monster truck she called a car.

"Just so long as you don't try to kiss me again," he retorted. Sara looked at them with interest when he said that.

"What on earth did you two get up to?" Gina wanted to know when they entered the house. She gave them a critical look; Gabrielle was _definitely_ drunk, which was so unlike her. Between Steve and her sister's death, she wasn't much of a drinker – although Jack would certainly disagree with that. "I got a call from Paul Croft, who heard it from Ashley Jones that the two of you were disgustingly cosy at Greg's."

That was an impressive gossip vine, Jack thought. Though by the sounds of it, at least Paul hadn't told Ashley the truth... or maybe he just figured, like so many others he'd come across so far, that there was something more to them than friendship. Where they kept coming up with that idea, Jack didn't know. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "We had a run-in with Ashley and, well, it seemed like a good idea to tell her we were together and watch her go green with envy."

"She looked like she was about to throw up. Honestly, Jack, I wish you'd insisted on wearing those city clothes you love so much – she would have been even more ticked if you'd been looking at your best. I remember at the wedding, how many girls were keen on you. Gina, he scrubs up _really_ well."

"Because I look like shit right now?" he countered.

"I only meant –"

"You're so much easier to wind up when you're drunk, you know?" he teased. "Go have a shower. I'll fix you a coffee." Still giggling, Gabrielle headed for the bathroom. Jack watched her go, shaking his head in amazement. "Man, that girl is such a Cadbury," he remarked. "She practically only needs to inhale the fumes to get drunk."

"Leave her alone, heavy drinkers make her nervous," Gina pointed out. "Now, what exactly happened?" Jack told Gina what had transpired that day, and by the end of it, Gina was laughing. "Lord, but I never could stand that girl. Always thought Gabby was too good for her – too good for Steve as well. I'd say the two of them deserve each other. I wish I could have seen her face."

"Like a spoilt child who's been given everything she ever wanted by batting her eyelashes... and suddenly got told _no_," Jack offered. "She wasn't even my type."

"And what is your type?"

He cocked his head, staring off in thought for a few seconds. "Don't really know anymore," he admitted. "Used to love the thrill of the chase but that seems kind of immature now. Never got a happy relationship out of it, either. I'm like everyone, I guess, I just want to be happy."

It was a good enough answer for Gina. At dinner Gina made Jack retell the story of how they'd screwed with Ashley. She definitely wasn't popular in the Jaeger house – unpopular enough that an entire carton of beer was broken open to celebrate Jack's quite, if somewhat nasty, thinking. Jack wasn't to realise that he'd elevated himself in her family's eyes because of his willingness to strike a blow for her against someone who had hurt her. He ended up enjoying himself so much that he almost forgot what he'd been so keen to go into town for. "Sara, I have something for you,." He said. "I couldn't find it in town so I got my sister to send it to me." He retrieved the package he'd left on the breakfast bar and handed it to her.

Like most children, Sara had a fondness for packages, especially surprise ones, and she tore into it. She squealed in delight when she pulled out a DVD of the most recent version of _A Little Princess_. She charged at Jack and hugged him, her arms wrapped his waist in a way he found charming. "I figured we could watch it tonight... that's if your aunt doesn't fall asleep on us." It amused Jack that apart from Sara, he seemed to be the most sober person at the table... but then, he hadn't been around when Ashley and Steve had conspired to break Gabrielle's heart so maybe it was no wonder he took the least delight in making Ashley sick with jealousy.

Watching a children's movie with a drunk Gabrielle was an experience for Jack. She responded more like a child than even Sara, crying when her father died and she was sent up to the attic and cheering when the father was found to still be alive and Miss Minchin became a chimney sweep. "Think you should go to bed, or you'll be completely wrecked tomorrow," Jack said after the movie was over, they had put Sara to bed and Gabrielle didn't want to go to bed herself.

"I had a nice day," she said when Jack convinced her to go to bed and stayed up with her for a few minutes.

"And you didn't even try to stick your tongue down my throat," he kidded.

She made a face. "When are you going to let go of that?" she complained.

"Never. It was equal parts amusing and humiliating. Can't say I ever had a housemate hit on me."

"Jack, you dormed with men the whole way through uni, that totally doesn't count. And it can't have been as awful as you keep making out."

"No," he admitted. He _had_ enjoyed it enough to kiss her back, although he wasn't about to tell her that.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you think Ashley and Steve... did what they did? I mean, how can you do something so rotten?"

"I don't know. If it's worth anything, I would never have treated you like that."

"I know. But you're different. You're sweet. You're... a princess."

"Prince," he corrected. "And you are drunk."

"Jack... I just want to be happy."

"I know you do, sweetheart. And someone will come along, I promise. I'm surprised you've managed to stay single for this long." He leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Get some sleep, OK. We'll talk later if you want to." He left her to sleep, feeling helpless in the face of the loneliness she felt. He wished he could do something to make her happy.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey, guys! Obviously, there's no Dan or Erica in this chapter. I decided not to include them because it felt tacky to make up scenes from a point in time that neither actors were in._

"Was there ever anything between you and Cate?"

They were lying on the grass by Gabrielle's secret creek on Monday afternoon after enjoying a leisurely lunch and setting the yabby traps. Yesterday and today Gabrielle had been a lot more lenient on the hard work she'd planned on having Jack do – but then, her entire family seemed to be cutting him more slack. Maybe because he'd been the most sober person at the dinner table on Saturday night, apart from Sara... maybe it was because of the weird moment he and Gabrielle had shared in her bedroom. She had made herself vulnerable and now she seemed reluctant to be too hard on him. So here they were, lying on the grass, enjoying the sunshine after a big lunch, exchanging personal details about their lives, from childhood memories to dating experiences. "No," he said indignantly. "She's always been just a mate, What makes you ask, anyway? I've hardly seen her in ages."

"Just something she said when she was doing that whole drug thing with Jo, that she had screwed things up with you."

"Ah, that. Nah, she just came onto me quite aggressively when I dropped her home one night. She was high on something and I wanted to see her home safe and - anyway, I don't like aggressive women and I told her that unless she was willing to respect my personal boundaries, I didn't have time for her. I kind of wish I hadn't been that hard on her now, because she took it really personally and things weren't the same between us after that."

"It's not your fault she decided to take a lot of drugs and throw herself at someone who was trying to do the right thing by her," Gabrielle pointed out. It sounded exactly like Jack that he'd been trying to help Cate – and he had made it clear how he felt about women being too forward with him.

"Hey, since you brought up who I was or wasn't sleeping with, there's something I've been curious about for ages. How old were you and Steve when – "

"I was sixteen and he was twenty-six," Gabrielle offered.

Jack whistled. "And let me guess, it was on or really close to your birthday?" he asked.

"How did you know?"

"'Cos statutory rape is a felony."

Gabrielle squirmed. "It wasn't like that."

"Really? What else do you call a ten-year age difference when one is barely at the age of consent? Sorry," he said when he realised his confrontational tone was upsetting her. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just... you know how I feel about stuff like that. He shouldn't have pursued you, not when you were that young. I'm only a couple of years older than he was and I would never look at someone who's still in high school."

"That's 'cos you never had the sense of entitlement of a teenager, let alone well into your twenties," Gabrielle couldn't help saying. She paused for a while. "You know, I never got the appeal of sex," she admitted. "It's so overrated. Maybe it's different for guys." Her face crinkled up in outrage when Jack started to laugh. "What's so funny?" she asked, unamused. Typical guy to laugh about sex.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh," he apologised. "It's just – Steve's the only guy you've slept with, yeah?" She nodded. It was something that had been brought up in one of their many late-night chats. "Believe me, I know how much alcohol slows you down. And he wasn't exactly the most considerate boyfriend in the world. He probably had no idea what he was doing beyond the basic mechanics. It doesn't surprise me that you don't like sex if he's your only standard."

"What, and I just bet you had a great first time," Gabrielle said sarcastically without thinking about what was coming out of her mouth. When she realised her mistake, she blushed. "Sorry. I didn't mean –"

"It's fine. I long ago made up my mind that my first time was with – well, she was older than me and yes, it was pretty good."

Gabrielle found herself feeling a little uncomfortable by the topic. She remembered something Rachel had said – the poor girl had been desperate to confide in someone after Jack's callous treatment of her, and she'd blathered on about how great it had been. And if that was Jack with alcohol slowing him down – she wondered if Jack was right, that Steve had been too selfish and too drunk to care about the woman he was with, and what it would be like to be with someone who not only cared but knew what they were doing...

Jack mistook Gabrielle's silence for contentment and they lay on the grass together in silence. In the short time he had been here, he had developed quite a sense for sounds, sights and smells that had previously been unfamiliar to him – the smell of the grass, the rustling of the leaves on the trees, the sounds of the water going by in the stream, the fact that everything smelled so much fresher than the city. "I can't believe how peaceful it is," he mused. "I never thought I'd like being somewhere so... simple."

"Oh, come on Jack. I know you weren't always a jaded, sophisticated surgeon. Surely there's _something_ you miss that isn't about sex and alcohol and cutting people up."

Jack thought, and laughed at a memory. "There was this construction site near where I lived which had this metal tube stuff – I used to love sliding down it. Broke my collar bone on four different occasions. DOCS were convinced I was being abused." He laughed. They had been on the right track, but looking completely in the wrong direction. It had taken years for the sting to go out of that irony. "I think that's where I get my sense of humour from." Strange that he could laugh about it now.

"Why doesn't it surprise me that you were a glutton for punishment?" Gabrielle teased. She could just see him, left to his own devices and with a ridiculously high pain threshold – a broken collarbone to him was probably the equivalent of a sprained ankle to everyone else.

"Actually, I miss kissing," he said after another pause. Gabrielle had actually gotten him thinking about the simple things he used to enjoy, before everything had turned to crap last year and it had felt like a never-ending cycle of therapy and questioning his professional and personal judgement.

Gabrielle snorted with derisive laughter at that. "Oh, come of it, Jack. If you're going to make something up, then make something up that I don't already know is a croc of shit. Rachel said she could barely get you to look at her, let alone kiss her."

Jack cringed at both the memory and the fact Gabrielle knew about it. He'd behaved terribly that night. If he'd wanted to get laid, he should have just picked up someone random in a bar – although _that_ hadn't turned out great for him, either. "I didn't give a crap about Rachel," he admitted. "I just wanted to get laid. As soon as it was over, I wanted her to go. What I miss is being so into someone that you don't even think about getting laid, you just want to be with them and kiss them... I miss having someone I was so in sync with that there was nothing I'd rather do then kill an afternoon making out. I miss giving a shit enough that I know their perfume anywhere. I miss having someone I'm crazy about and holding hands and cuddling in the movies. _That's_ what I miss. You know what I'm talking about? You ever have that with someone?"

She shivered, because Jack had managed to make kissing sound far more erotic than anything Steve had managed. "Of course," she lied. "Steve and I were together for years, remember, and they weren't _all_ a waste." Jack never talked about his love life, which she tried to respect, but curiosity got the better of her. "When was the last time you felt like that about someone?"

"Deanna," he said flatly. Jack never talked about ex-girlfriends, but Gabrielle had heard plenty about her infamous predecessor. She had actually been warned by no less than nine people that Jack had a tendency to date women in her position – the ED's NUM – and that the last one had ended spectacularly badly. She didn't know any details, but if Jack was still upset about it almost three years later –

"Do you mind me asking exactly what happened?" she asked. "I mean, I heard all the rumours but I try not to put stock in rumours."

"She basically used me as a backer, someone to support her while she made up allegations about Frank – she told me he'd threatened to fire her if she didn't sleep with him. God, I felt like such an idiot when I found out she'd been lying to me. Everyone said she was playing me, but I was so in love with her that I didn't want to see it – and she played on that. She had this way of cuddling up to me that made me feel like her body was made for mine, and I have no idea how much of that was real and how much was that she knew what I wanted from a relationship. How the hell can you tell someone you love them and be planning to stab them in the back?"

His words ran true – and at least with Steve, she knew he had truly loved her, he had just loved booze and other women more. No wonder Jack was bitter. He'd been crazy about a woman who had coldly used him to play hospital politics. She suddenly understood Jack better than she ever had. No wonder he was so bitter... and so lonely. He didn't have anyone he could trust. _You can trust me_, she told him silently. He seemed to get the message, because he squeezed her suddenly.

When they got back to the house, Gina was already cooking up a storm. She smiled when she saw them. They looked like they'd enjoyed themselves. "Paul called," she said. "He wanted to know if you guys wanted to meet him and Julia for lunch at Greg's tomorrow. Poor girl, it must be so hard on her. No wonder she wants the company."

"Huh?" Jack asked.

"Her husband Brad works with the Flying Doctors," Gabrielle explained. "It's basically a FIFO-type arrangement, two weeks on, one week off. She doesn't see much of him. I could certainly never survive in a relationship like that. Do you want to go?" she asked him. "I promise not to drink too much this time," she added with that cheeky grin that he liked so much.

"Sure," he said. He liked Julia and Paul, and he could do with getting off this farm. He was enjoying himself, but he could do with a change of scenery.

* * *

Who's that guy talking to Paul?" Jack asked the next day. Paul was at the bar, talking to Greg and taking his sweet time with the second round of drinks, when a desperate-looking man approached him. From across the brewery, he seemed he was jittery – was he high on something? Jack began to feel tense. He didn't like the look of this situation.

Julia made a face. "That's Michael," Julia said. No last name was necessary. He had not only grown up with Paul, but he was the town's resident junkie. Pills, alcohol – whatever he could lay his hands on. "He and Paul were best mates growing up but things got pretty bad for him. Paul's gotten him job after job, and he kept blowing it until no-one would hire him. Now he relies on welfare and charity."

At the bar, Paul and Michael were arguing and Greg was trying to calm Michael down. "I'll see if I can calm him down," Julia said resignedly. Michael had always been a bit sweet on her and he often listened to her, although when he was on a high like this...

She screamed when Michael suddenly pulled out a lethal-looking knife and, before Greg or Paul could react, had slashed it across Paul's throat. Paul staggered backwards as blood started pouring from the wound. "Look what you made me do!" Michael yelled frantically. "It was just a few grand!"

Jack raced over to the bar on autopilot. Without thinking of his own safety, he faced Michael down. "I'm a surgeon," he said in a clear, authoritive voice that got through even to Michael's high, fried brain. "If you leave _now_ and let me do my job, I might be able to save him and then you'll be up for grievous bodily harm instead of murder."

His reasonable tone and words seemed to get through to him, because a panicked Michael turned tail and ran. No-one tried to stop him. Jack dropped to his knees and helped Paul into a sitting position. _Shit_, he almost said out loud. The wound was deep, and if he didn't do something about it fast, Paul was going to bleed out. Jack was well aware that every second he spent trying to decide what to do worsened Paul's chances of surviving. "Gabs," he said to her. "I need that massive first aid kit you always tote around with you." Like a lot of medical staff, Gabrielle had a massive first-aid kit stocked with every medical supply she could legally have in the back of her car. "Thanks," he said when she returned with it just a minute later. He was using a tea-towel to stem the flow of blood – Jack shuddered to think how many germs must be crawling all over it, but you had to be alive to suffer a bacterial infection. "OK, Paul, I need you to listen to me," he said as calmly as if he were talking to Sara about netball. No sense in making the guy panic. "This is going to hurt. But pain is good and I need you to be as still as you can for me, OK." He slipped his hand into Paul's. "Squeeze my hand if you understood that." Paul squeezed it weakly. Jack withdrew his hand and fished his Swiss Army Knife out of his pocket. "Gabs, I need you to sterilise this," he instructed her. If he believed in God, he would have said a silent prayer for the invention of alcoholic wipes. It wasn't as good as a sterilised surgical room, but it was something. He couldn't believe he was about to perform emergency surgery on a dirty brewery floor with a Swiss Army knife and the contents of a first aid kit but if he didn't – He swallowed back the nervousness that was building up in his stomach. _If I don't do this, he'll die_, Jack repeated over and over like a mantra.

"Can I do anything, Jack?" Julia asked. She looked pale but composed. That was one good thing, he supposed. Hysterical family members were difficult enough to deal with in a fully-equipped ED, let alone – OK, he was _not_ going to think about the unsanitary conditions of this place.

"Just hold his hand. Try to keep him calm. I'll let you know if I need anything else."

"Thankyou," she said, beginning to realise what Gabrielle saw in him – other than the fact he enjoyed tormenting Ashley. He'd faced down Michael seemingly without a thought for his own safety – and he could be the only chance her brother had, because Julia had seen enough animals bleed out to know Paul wouldn't make it on his own for the Flying Doctors to arrive.

By the time the Flying Doctors arrived, Jack had managed to save Paul's life and vocal cord. He would have bled out otherwise.

"He needs to be pumped full of antibiotics," Jack said, following the doctors out to the helicopter. "I didn't exactly have a sterilised room to work in. And he'll probably need new surgery. And – "

"We have it covered," the doctor, a Brad Walker, assured him. "Look, he's my brother-in-law and from the looks of it, he wouldn't have survived without you so... thankyou."

Jack cocked his head. So _this_ was Julia's husband. Talk about co-incidental. At least he knew Paul was in good hands. He watched them load Paul into the ambulance. "Where are they taking him," he asked Gabrielle, who walked up next to him.

"Probably Sydney, there isn't a major hospital between here and there." She noticed Jack was unnaturally stiff. "You did great in there," she murmured. He hadn't thought, he had just _acted_ – and in less-than-ideal circumstances. And now he was worried about infection and not thinking about the fact he had saved a man's life. That took something special that not a lot of people had – even more special in light of the fact just a few weeks ago he'd been unable to do anything more taxing than triage.

"I hope he'll be OK."

"Jack, he'll be fine – thanks to you. You were amazing in there. You saved his life."

Suddenly it hit Jack – he had been there, he had acted – and he had saved a man's life. Never before had he been so aware of what it was to save someone's life. Somehow the sterility of the hospital, the professional distance he kept his patients at made it less personal. But this was someone he _knew_, albeit only slightly, someone he socialised with, someone who's life he had been able to save because he had been in the right place at the right time and known what to do... and had had the nerve to do it. "Oh, God," he breathed as it sunk in that Paul would live because of him. "Wow." Suddenly, his face broke into a grin and before Gabrielle could protest that his shirt was covered in blood, he grabbed her, lifted her up as easily as he lifted Sara and spun her in circles.

"Jack!" she squealed in protest. "I'm never going to get the blood off!" But she didn't care about something she could replace at Target. A stained shirt was worth it to have Jack spin her around like that – to have Jack spring into action like the talented physician and surgeon he was, and not the skittish doctor he had been for the last few weeks.

"Can we get out of here before Julia wants to thank me again?" Jack asked. She had held her composure remarkably well given her brother had been bleeding out on a dirty floor, but if she thanked Jack one more time –

"Anything for the town hero," she teased, darting away before Jack swatted her head with a bloody hand.

By the time they got back to the farm, Gina, Billy, Russel and Ben were waiting for them. "I heard," Gina said, beaming as proudly as a mother – or mother-in-law. "Julia's been calling everyone in town. I think she's placed you a few rungs below God. I hope Michael's left town, though," she added darkly. Everyone knew what an addicted loser the Croft's childhood friend had become.

"It was nothing," Jack said. "I was just there and I knew what to do. Julia was amazing, though. I don't think I would have held up that well if it was _my_ sister bleeding out. Do you need help with dinner?" he asked, hoping to distract Gina from his supposed heroism. He'd performed much more complicated surgeries than today's little adventure – albeit with the equipment he needed.

"Don't even think about it!" Gina said. "You are going to go and have a shower and throw that disgusting shirt away and then you're not lifting a finger for the rest of the night."

"And we won't make you two help with the sheep tomorrow, either," Russel added.

"If I'd known I was going to get this kind of treatment, I would have organised something weeks ago," he said, walking off to the bathroom. He really didn't get why it was such a big deal.

* * *

"We have a twenty-six-year-old Caucasian male, Paul Croft, knife wound to the throat," Brad said shortly after that to none other than Frank Campion. "Emergency surgery performed at the site."

Frank inspected the work. "By who?" he asked, impressed by the work, despite the crude materials used – was that _fishing wire?_

Brad shrugged. "I don't know the guy's name, but this is professional work," he said needlessly. Any trained physician could tell it was professional work. "I can find out if you're really curious, he's a friend of someone I went to school with."

Frank grunted. It wasn't all that important, beyond the fact that whoever this guy was, he had probably saved Paul Croft's life. The depth of the cut meant he would have bled out quickly had there been no intervention. He would need to have the job redone but the emergency had passed.

"Brad, you coming?" one of the other doctors asked. "We can drop you off back in Widgee."

"No, Julia's coming down, I'll get a lift back with her," Brad said. He was due for his week off and he could always plead the family's trauma to get some extra time off. And it would do Paul good to have someone there when he woke up, if Julia wasn't already here.

He stayed in the ED and was a surprising wealth of information, despite the fact he couldn't actually be of any service for insurance reasons. His eyes narrowed when he saw Steve Taylor. "This where you ended up?" he sneered at the doctor.

"After your wife had me fired," Steve retorted.

"I believe you got fired because you kept turning up drunk," Brad shot back. The fact that Julia was the mayor's daughter and had an axe to grind because of Steve's shabby treatment of Gabrielle just made Steve's firing hastier.

"You two know each other?" Frank asked with a sinking feeling that Brad, Paul and Julia were all linked to Steve's alcoholic past.

"Yeah. He hit on my wife when he was dating one of her mates," Brad spat. "Her family isn't going to want him treating Paul. He'd probably kill him."

Frank touched his temple. Steve had a knack for having his past dredged up every so often. He only hoped this Julia didn't raise to much hell – or better yet, had him transferred to another hospital. The sooner Steve's past was out of sight, the better. "Rossi, you're treating Paul Croft," Frank directed his newest acquisition. "Taylor can take Adrian Parker."

Julia arrived an hour later, and her reaction to seeing Steve was ever stronger than Brad's. She scowled as if it was some horror movie creature that had materialised in front of her and not just Steve Taylor. "Look what the cat dragged in," she spat. "Slept with someone inappropriate yet?"

Steve glared at her just as hatefully. He was sorry for what had transpired between him and Gabrielle, sorry that he had thought it was a good idea to hit on Julia in a drunken haze, but she didn't have to throw it in his face in front of his colleagues. "Still lording the mayor's-daughter thing over everyone?" was the best retort he could come up with.

She turned her back to him with a 'whatever'. She turned her cheek to Brad for a kiss. "Sorry I took so long, I wanted to drop Sara home. As soon as she heard, she was determined to go home. How's Paul?"

"He'll be fine," Frank interrupted. "He was very lucky. Your husband said there was a doctor on the scene. He saved his life, with that kind of wound, he would have bled out before the chopper got there."

"I know, I was there," Julia said. Frank was only driving home the fact that her brother could have died today. She shivered, and Brad wrapped his arms around her. "I just can't believe how quickly it happened," she said to her husband. "We were just talking and Paul was getting drinks and Michael came in – if Jack hadn't been there, he would have died. But he totally kept his wits about him. You should have seen the two of them, Brad. They made a great team. I left Sara ensconced on his lap thinking he was the greatest hero who ever lived."

Steve scowled when he heard the names. "You mean Sara Jaeger, Gabrielle's niece?"

"I don't know any other Sara's," Julia said rudely.

"And this doctor – would he be about one-ninety, speaks like an absolute prat?" Steve asked.

"If by _prat_ you mean he's actually polite, then yes," Julia said. "Why? Need a few lessons?"

Frank, listening into the conversation, frowned. That sounded exactly like Quade. It dawned on him where the young doctor had disappeared these last few weeks – Gabrielle had decided to take him to her family farm. That little sneak! She had come to him in distress over her sick father when she'd been planning on absconding with one of _his_ doctors. OK, so Frank had told Jack he needed to break, but that still didn't give either of them the right to run off together. And what the hell was with that, anyway? They sounded awfully cosy. Frank imagined some rustic cottage with a fire every night to cuddle up in front of...

He picked up the phone and flipped through the department filofax for her family's phone number. Ben answered it just as it was about to ring out. "Jaeger residence," he said breathlessly. The seven of them had been in the family room having a games night and working through the carton Greg had generously supplied and had almost missed the phone ringing.

"This is Frank Campion from All Saints Western General's Emergency Department," Frank said gruffly. "I believe you have two of my staff."

"I've got no idea what you're talking about, Mister Campion," Ben said. He wondered how Frank had found out. Well, he sounded every bit the cranky boss Jack had described him as. Well, he wasn't going to dob them in now. Everyone was having such a lovely time. Jack was on a total high from his impromptu surgery and Gabrielle was looking at him as if he was the same God that Julia now considered him to be. For the first time a thought that had long ago occurred to Gina struck him – that the two of them were perfect together. He'd already heard from Greg that they'd worked together well this afternoon, and anyone could see how fond they were of each other. Plus, Sara adored him. Like hell he was interrupting their good time together for some cranky boss who probably had plenty of other doctors and nurses he could call on.

"Cut the crap," Frank said just as gruffly. "Your friends are here – Julia, Brad and Paul."

_Ah, crap_, Ben thought, So the Flying Doctors had taken him to All Saints. Well, wasn't that bad luck. "I'll just get my dad," Ben said, figuring it was best for his father, who was very protective of Gabrielle and equally approving of Jack, to let this man know where he stood.

Frank demanded the return of Jack and Gabrielle as soon as Russel got on the phone. "I'll do you a trade," Russel said in his most generous voice. "You can keep Steve and we'll keep Jack." Like hell was he just letting Jack walk out. He was good for Gabrielle and good for Sara.

"No deal!" Frank bellowed. "They're both my doctors – and _she's_ my nurse, who got time off because she said you were sick. You don't sound very sick," he added pointedly.

"We're not keeping him prisoner," Russel said. "He can leave whenever he wants." Except for the fact he didn't have a car and was devoted to Sara.

"He can bloody well leave tomorrow or he can find another job," Frank said.

Russel heard Brad yelling from the hospital staff base, "We'll take him!" he said. Julia gave him a pointed look about poaching staff. "What?" he asked indignantly. "We need surgeons who can think quickly on their feet far more than they do. I bet this is just a plum position." The look on Frank's face was priceless as he realised one of his prized doctors was in demand.

"Tell them their patient will be fine," Frank said grumpily before hanging up the phone. Brad and Julia could barely contain their laughter. Frank looked defeated, which the married couple imagined didn't often happen. And as a bonus, Steve was looking exceptionally put out. Well, he didn't seriously think he was competition for Jack, did he? She flashed him a triumphant grin. Served him right for not knowing a good thing when he saw it.

"Don't worry about it, Frank," Charlotte said, overhearing the conversation. She enjoyed seeing Frank gotten the better of even more than Julia and Brad had. Besides, Frank seemed to be missing the important point; Jack had jumped straight into a situation which required him to be on-the-ball and innovative. It was a far cry from the skittish doctor who had refused to leave triage a few weeks ago. "If you get really desperate, I know how to get him back – and we won't even get the blame for it."

* * *

Jack and Gabrielle were playing hide-and-seek with Sara in the garden when Amelia Croft arrived at the front door of the Jaeger home. They had to be summoned quickly, dishevelled and dirty, to see the mayor's wife. Gabrielle felt as though she were Sara's age again and being called to the principal's office for doing something wrong. The Crofts were one of the town's founding families, and Amelia's husband – Paul and Julia's father – had been the mayor for as long as Gabrielle could remember. They were Widgee royalty.

They might have been Widgee royalty, but Amelia looked at Jack as if _he_ was king. By now, the whole town knew of the previous afternoon's events. Amelia was beyond grateful towards Jack for the way he had thought quickly and saved her son's life. She thanked him so profusely that soon Jack was embarrassed. "It was nothing," he said. "It's just what I do. The government forked out like a hundred grand for me to get my degree, I owe something back to the country."

"My husband and I have organised a little thankyou party for you," Amelia said, and something told Jack that Amelia Croft's idea of a 'little party' was actually a huge gathering that involved the whole town, population 2000.

"Thankyou, but I don't need anything done for me," Jack said.

"Gabrielle said you would say that," Amelia said, throwing the younger woman a knowing glance, and Jack wondered just how many people had been talking about him today. It was starting to go to his head; certainly, no-one had paid him this much attention and gratitude when he'd been working in the ED. He wondered for a moment what it would be like to work in a small-town hospital, or doctor's surgery, whatever it was they had going here. "So I'm also here to inform you that if you _don't_ accept, both my family and this town will consider it a snub, and while I'm sure you personally don't care what we think of you, I was hoping you cared enough about what we think of the Jaegers to come."

Jack knew he'd been cornered. How could he refuse Amelia after _that_ spiel? "I guess we'll be there," he said.

Amelia smiled brightly, knowing that Jack would accept. Julia had said there was something going on between them that was more than just friendship; no way would he turn down the invitation and risk the town's annoyance falling on the Jaegers. "Seven o'clock, the community hall," she said. Normally these things were held at Greg's, but given the circumstances, it didn't seem appropriate.

"I guess I have to go," Jack said ruefully.

She reached up to tussle his hair the way he liked, and he responded by tilting his head like a cat wanting affection. "Don't be such a spoilsport," she said. "You'll have fun, and when was the last time people wanted to show you gratitude for doing your job?"

That was true enough. They rarely got gratitude from patients, let alone to this degree. "Fine, I'll go," he said, even though he had already agreed to it. "But I'm not wearing that stupid country shirt you made me buy."

"You'll stand out," she teased.

"I'd rather stand out than look like a dork."

As it turned out, he _did_ enjoy himself. Amelia had worked miracles in organising catering and music in such short a time. But then, the Crofts were popular and there was no shortage of people who wanted to contribute towards a party being held in honour of the man who had saved the life of the town's favourite son. The same people who had set up food stalls at the fair were out in full force tonight, and Greg had donated a small fortune in beer. the band Amelia had hired were a local group who performed at a lot of parties and town functions. They were good, despite their tendency to play pub rock. As he had a few drinks and filled himself with delicious food and started to relax, he found himself laughing and enjoying himself and accepting the praise with good grace. And as he had more to drink, he actually found himself enjoying the pub rock, and even ended up singing off-key to 'Working Class Man' until Gabrielle begged him to stop.

After a few hours he was very mellow and the band began to play The Pretenders 'I'll Stand by You'. "I love this song," Jack said, jumping up and pulling Gabrielle by the hand. "Dance with me," he said like an eager puppy, and Gabrielle had to laugh at his enthusiasm. Saving Paul had been like switching on a light switch in his head. He cared about stuff now. He had cared before, of course, but that had been gradual whereas this – Jack had definitely gotten back into his groove. He seemed happier than she had ever known him to be, certainly happier than he had been when his patient had died.

"Fine," she agreed, letting Jack pull her along. "So long as you don't sing."

She wrapped her arms around Jack's neck and just about melted in his arms. It had been ages since Jack had been interested enough in affection to hold her, and she had forgotten how strong and hard his body was. She could feel the muscles in his chest through his shirt; he had put on a little weight, but it suited him. As they swayed together, she felt like she had never been so in sync with someone – certainly not Steve. Maybe it was working with Jack on an impromptu surgery yesterday, maybe it was their conversation by the stream the day before, but something felt so right with him that she hadn't had with anyone else – at least not someone who wasn't a sibling.

Jack had promised not to sing, but the events of the last few days and the party in his honour – not to mention a few super-strength beers – had put him on a total high and the lyrics felt so right for the moment. In the last few days, it felt like something had clicked perfectly into place with her – the surgery they'd done together, the intimate conversation in the field the day before – that made him feel more in sync, more close to her than he had with anyone he could remember, except maybe his sister. Not Terri, not Deanna... he remembered her manipulations and betrayal, and maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was being with Gabrielle, but he suddenly felt very free, and very trusting because of it. He trusted her to have his back as much as he trusted Rebecca, adored her as much as he adored Rebecca, only this was different, because she wasn't his sister, and there had been some definite sparkage there for a while. "Take me into your darkest hour," he whispered in her ear rather than sang. "And I'll never desert you..."

The words seemed to draw them into a world of their own. "Jack," she stirred in his arms.

"Yeah?" he murmured, wishing she would be quiet so he could go back to whispering the lyrics in her ear,

"Remember when you asked me if I'd ever had that thing with a person where you just want to kiss them and hold their hand, and I said I had?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I lied. I've never felt that with anyone – not with Steve, not with anyone. I was so envious when you described it and I didn't want to look like some... inexperienced country hick. But no-one's ever made me feel like that. Not even close."

He cupped her chin gently and pulled her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. "Yeah?" he asked again softly. She confirmed it with a look in her eyes that was simultaneously sad, ashamed... and something he couldn't quite pinpoint. Hopeful, maybe? And if things had seemed to click perfectly into place before, now it felt even more so. It was like the last few months had been leading up to this moment. "I think we need to rectify that, then," he said. He lowered his head so he could kiss her.

They had kissed before, and he remembered most of it, despite the fact he had lied and pretended he _didn't_ remember what an ass she had made of herself. But this was completely different. This was something he wanted more than anything he'd wanted before – certainly more than he'd ever wanted to kiss Deanna or Terri... or Rachel. And without realising it, he'd thought a lot more about kissing her than he had anyone else. When their lips met, electricity passed through them. She was wearing strawberry lip balm, and he knew he was going to be hooked on the taste forever more. He flicked his tongue into her mouth, searching for hers, meeting it, pushing against it... he tightened his grip around her waist possessively. Oh, god, she tasted so nice. And felt so nice. He completely forgot Deanna had ever existed when he thought that her body felt like it was made for his. She had to be pushing six foot in those high heels she was wearing, just the right height for him. He completely forgot that he had once found the fact he had a clear foot on Terri cute. He kissed her more aggressively, and abandoned the arm around her waist so he could run his fingers through her hair.

He felt her knees buckle and almost left it too late to return his arm from around her waist. He was used to having that effect on women, but he wasn't used to _them_ having that effect on _him_. "It seems hot in here," he mused, which was true enough, because it did feel like someone had just cranked the heat up, although in a nice way, like after a steamy make-out session... "You want to go sit outside for a bit?"

She nodded, and leaned into him when he wrapped his arm around her waist and led her outside. There were wooden seats outside, and he led her to one. He pulled her into his arms so she was cuddled up against him and for a few minutes they just sat in silence. "Just for the record," he finally cracked. "That was so our first kiss."

"You didn't enjoy the one at the wedding?" she teased.

"No, I just don't like my first kisses being so public." Or the intentions of said kiss being questionable. He still doubted that her kiss had been about him, but he didn't doubt her intentions now. He tilted her head so she was facing him again so he could kiss her again. God, but he was getting hooked on her. He couldn't believe he'd been living with her for months and never realised how good he felt being with her. "You feel so good," he whispered huskily. He sucked on her bottom lip. "So good," he repeated.

It was a warm evening, but Gabrielle shivered from the chemistry that was coursing through her body. "Cold?" Jack asked, and Gabrielle didn't bother to correct him, because it felt so good when he started rubbing her arms.

For fifteen minutes they sat on the bench, kissing and making out until he heard Ben calling their names. "I think we need to take a breather," he said huskily. God, he couldn't think of anything better to do then be with her – kissing her, holding her hand, feeling her close to him. Impulsively, he kissed her again and then pulled her into his lap.

* * *

Jack, you have to go to your own room," Gabrielle protested after half an hour. They hadn't been doing anything that would be embarrassing to be caught doing but still, she knew her father would be waiting for Jack to come out of her room, and the longer he took, the more Russel's imagination would go into overdrive.

"You're the one with your legs wrapped around my waist," Jack reminded her. Not that he was complaining. He felt good in her hold. When they'd gotten home, they'd gone to her room for what he'd intended to be a goodnight kiss... which had turned into a heavy kissing session, which had turned into them on her bed, her legs wrapped around her waist, her dress pushed up to her thighs. He hadn't tried to undress her any further, but the halter-neck dress left plenty of skin for him to kiss and caress. He especially like the way the dress pushed up her breasts to create cleavage that was so kissable.

She shivered when he did it again. For the fact he wasn't actually doing much – his hands remained firmly on her waist and back – he as making her squirm with the feeling of sexiness that Jack made her feel. If he decided to rip her clothes off, she wasn't entirely sure she would turn him down, even with her father just outside. "Jack, you can't spend the night," she protested. "I don't – I'm not ready."

He raised his head slightly so he could look her in the eyes. "I don't want to sleep with you, sweetheart," he said. "Don't look so disappointed. I want to eventually. I just want to be with you for a bit."

He reluctantly left her room a short time later. He would have liked to have spent the night with her in his arms – plus, she had a Queen-sized bed, not a lousy single – but he knew Russel would never believe they had only slept together in the platonic sense of the word. He made his way to his own room, and was startled to see Russel waiting up for him. Automatically, he wiped his mouth, knowing that he must reek of her soap, perfume – and he couldn't get the taste of her lip balm off his mouth. "I didn't expect you to still be up," he said sheepishly. He shoved his fists into his pant pockets, something he always did when he felt off-guard.

"I was mildly curious where you planned on sleeping tonight," he said with a smirk on his face. He doubted he would ever tire of making Jack squirm.

"Look, it's not like that," Jack said defensively. "I just want to be with her. I don't want – I mean, crap... I'm not like Steve, OK. That's not all I want from her."

Jack's words were so awkward and defensive that they had to be sincere. Not that Russel was going to let him know that. He believed Jack wanted more from his daughter than just sex, but he wasn't going to let the younger man know that, either. Better to let him stew and strive to prove herself. "Go to your room," he instructed Jack in the same way he had once instructed Ben. "And I don't want to see you around my daughter's room with the door closed," he added, knowing that the comment would make Jack blush; he didn't need Jack to be facing him to tell _that_.


	6. Chapter 6

Jack woke early to the smell of bacon frying. He got out of bed and padded into the kitchen where Gabrielle was cooking. "Morning," he said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, his chest against her body. He kissed her cheek, then decided he wanted to demonstrate more affection than that, and began nibbling on her ear.

"Morning," she replied, leaning into him. He was distracting her but she didn't tell him to stop. She had woken early buzzed from the events of last night, still feeling Jack's lips on hers, his hands on her skin. His touch was intoxicating. She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the affection. Something told her Jack was big on it; she imagined him to be the kind of boyfriend who liked to have his arm draped across her shoulders when they were sitting at the pub with mates, who liked to have his hand on her back as a pretence to guide her, who liked to punctuate every greeting and parting with a kiss. _Boyfriend!_. She giggled at the thought.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Just thinking... are we, like, boyfriend and girlfriend now?" she asked.

Jack chuckled, and she knew he was smiling indulgently the way a parent smiles when their child asks something cute. "You make us sound like we're sixteen but yeah, I guess," he agreed. "Do you _want_ to be my girlfriend?" he asked.

"Of course I do It just feels – "

"Like we're not following some relationship ritual?" he supplied. She nodded. It was strange, having been platonic friends for so long then having that change in an instant. Yesterday she had been his mate; now she was his girlfriend. It was weird to think about, but felt natural. He went back to her ear and brushed his fingers along the bare skin of her stomach, under her shirt. Cheekily, he let his fingers drift further downwards, and toyed with the button on her jeans.

She nearly jumped out of her skin. "Jack!" she admonished him.

He withdrew his hand, laughing again. He knew he'd eventually have the opportunity to get her back for tormenting him about his inability to ride a horse. "Wish I could have seen the look on your face," he teased. "What did you think I was going to do, bend you over the kitchen table and have my way with you?"

She found herself blushing. She had no doubt at some point after they got home Jack would 'have his way with her' over the kitchen table. He was a very passionate, very sexy man. "You're so beautiful," he whispered in her ear.

She felt him remove his arms from her waist and jump back a good foot and turned to see Gina entering the kitchen. The older woman laughed when she saw Jack's reaction to her presence. "You look like schoolboy who's been busted smoking behind the toilets," she teased, and Jack blushed. Gabrielle smirked triumphantly; it was good to see him put in his place after his stunt with her jeans. She fixed herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. "What are your plans for today?" Gina asked.

"I thought we'd go down the river again," Gabrielle said.

"Nice and quiet," Gina mused, and Gabrielle and Jack both got the feeling there was more than a little sexual innuendo there. Jack wanted to explain that he wasn't crass enough to have their first time be in some field, but kept his mouth shut, knowing he'd only give Gina more to smirk about.

Soon after, the rest of the family trooped in for breakfast. Jack found himself insanely hungry, more than he had been since being at the farm – since a lot time before that, in fact. Despite his initial complaints about bacon being loaded with fat, he attacked it, the eggs, hash brown, tomatoes and toast. "I see you got your appetite back," Russel said. "Strenuous night last night?"

Jack blushed, and Ben almost spat his coffee out. He had been barely older than Sara was now when Gabrielle had started dating Steve, so he had missed seeing his father toy with the man. It was thoroughly entertaining. Gabrielle squeezed his thigh sympathetically. She was all too familiar with the fact her father enjoyed toying with her boyfriends – well, her one previous boyfriend, at least. And Jack probably couldn't remember the last time he had met someone's parents – she knew Deanna's lived in Perth, and Terri's father had been dead by the time they'd met, and he hadn't dated much before that.

"Jack?" Sara asked him sweetly.

"Yeah, princess?" Jack replied, eager to have a distraction. He was well aware Russel would toy with him until they went back to Sydney, and there was nothing he could do but take it with good humour. He couldn't remember the last time he had met someone's parents, let alone _cared_ what an impression he made. He reached for Gabrielle's hand on his thigh, and squeezed it gratefully.

"If you marry Aunty Gabby, does that make you my uncle?"

Jack blushed even harder, if that was possible. Bad enough he was getting it from Russel. He didn't know what was worse, that Russel was putting him on the spot intentionally or Sara was doing it unintentionally. "Um, yeah... but I don't plan on getting married until I'm... at least thirty-five," he said, settling on an age that seemed ages away.

"Oh." Sara looked disappointed. "How old are you now?"

"Twenty-eight." Sara looked even more disappointed, and Jack actually felt bad for bursting her bubble like that. But what was he meant to say? _Yeah, we haven't been on an official date yet, but we're already planning marriage_.

"I thought you were older," Gina admitted, although today he did look twenty-eight. When he had first come here, there had been a look in his eyes – a sad, haunted look, despite the fact his body was obvious this side of thirty. It was as if last night's party and him and Gabrielle realising their feelings for each other had wiped seven or eight years from his face. "'Bout my age."

Jack made a face. "No offense, Gina, but if I was your age, I wouldn't be dating someone – um, under thirty," he finished helplessly, realising he didn't even know her exact age. This certainly wasn't a typical dating scenario.

Ben laughed at that. "Try twenty-six," he said. He was getting the hang of this toying-with-Jack thing.

"Well, there you go. I'm not in the habit of dating someone ten years younger than me." In fact, he wasn't in the habit of dating, when he did actually date instead of just sleep around, women younger than him, fullstop.

"Unlike some people," Russel said, and Jack was glad to have his attention elsewhere.

Sara had to go back to school, so Jack volunteered his and Gabrielle's services. "It would be nice to catch a movie or have lunch or something," he admitted to her. "A proper date."

"I'd like that," she said shyly.

* * *

He was actually surprised to discover Widgee had a cinema, albeit a small one Since it was the middle of a weekday, they had it to themselves. The movie itself was immaterial, because soon after the opening credits he pulled her into his lap to make out with her. She shivered with delight when he slid his hand to the inside of her thigh and half-wished she had chosen to wear a skirt so Jack could have started on her knee and worked up under it. She remembered Gina's comment about Jack acting like a schoolboy caught out, and she giggled, because that's how she felt. Like a schoolgirl making out with her boyfriend at the movies.

"I never felt this way about Steve," she admitted when they walked out of the theatre, his arm wrapped around her waist, her head on his shoulder. He'd pulled her hair out of its clip when he'd pulled her into his lap so he could play with it, and now it hung loosely past her shoulders. She wondered how Frank would react if she told him she never planned on wearing her hair up again because she loved the way Jack twisted it around his fingers, and giggled at the thought. She was in a very giggly mood today.

Jack let go of her waist and turned to face her. "You should know that I'm a very possessive boyfriend," he said huskily. "I don't want to hear Steve's name except about work."

She opened her mouth to his kiss, met his tongue with hers, pushed her body against his, wrapped her arms around his neck. She could do possessive. In fact, she rather relished the thought.

* * *

"Gabs, you're tickling," Jack said. He released a giggle when she brushed her lips against his side. He opened his eyes and raised his head to look down at her. She smiled up at him, and she looked adorable in a scheming way, like she was planning something.

She had just discovered an easy way to make him laugh, even if it _was_ cheating. He was lying on his back on the grass near the creek, his shirt open and his face and chest covered in kisses. She loved exploring his body. She loved the way every time she touched him some place that really turned him on, he bucked up against her and she could feel his muscles tensing under her mouth or hands. It was like having a horse respond to your touch, only much more fun.

When they'd started making out, he'd admitted he didn't like being underneath. He never had; he figured it had something to do with what had happened to him, that having someone on top of him gave him the creeps. So she had made him lie on his back while she smothered him with affection, and so far, it wasn't exactly a hardship to endure. With his eyes shut, he passively accepted her affection and found that it was very enjoyable. But he was starting to get bored with passively accepting affection. He needed to touch as much as he needed to be touched. "Get up here," he commanded, looping his arms under hers and pulling her up so she was straddling him, actually in a similar position to when they'd first come here on their second day. He kissed her deeply, running his hands up and down her back. He slid his hands under her shirt to feel her bare skin, and was rewarded with her squirming at the sensation.

"Jack," she whispered. Her hair slipped over her shoulder and created a curtain around her face. He grabbed a handful and twisted it around in his fingers. Gabrielle repositioned herself so she was lying flat on top of him, and soon their legs were entwined. Jack couldn't remember ever being so turned on a situation which involved both of them (almost) fully dressed. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he'd been so turned on. She was so sexy, she made him feel sexy. She made him feel –

Abruptly, he pushed her off him and sat up, bringing his legs up against his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "Sorry," he said when she looked alarmed, bowing his head against his knees. "Uh, blood flow problem."

She found herself chuckling. She never thought she'd see the day when Jack Quade was _embarrassed_ to have an erection. She sat behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I'd be disappointed if you _weren't_ hot for me," she said.

He grabbed her hand. "About what Gina said before – you know I'd never, you know... take you like that."

"I know. Jack, Gina was only joking. They all really like you... dad just likes to toy with my boyfriends. I'm such a daddy's girl, he's always going to be protective of me."

He craned his neck so he could kiss her. "I want to take care of you," he said. "I want him to like me – as a man, as a boyfriend." _As a son-in-law_, he thought silently. He had no idea where that thought came from.

"He does like you, Jack. Trust me. If he didn't, you'd know about it." She hadn't been kidding about her dad being protective of her; if Russel though Jack was capable of hurting Gabrielle the way Steve had, death would be too good for him. He'd probably castrate him so he could live the rest of his life unable to be a real man.

A few days later, Brad appeared on the doorstep. He, Jack and Gabrielle exchanged smalltalk over tea. Paul would be fine, he explained, not only live but his throat would completely heal. Mike had redone the surgery, but he'd had to admit that the Jack's work was excellent, given the circumstances. Julia was staying with Paul for the next few days, until the hospital deemed him well enough to go home to the care of the town's GP. "And we both wanted to apologise for letting it slip about you guys being here. We had no idea."

"It's fine," Gabrielle said. Brad noticed they were holding hands. Amelia had told Julia, and Julia had told him, that pretty much the whole town had seen them kissing at the party held in Jack's honour. _Couldn't separate them with a crowbar_, had been Amelia's words. So they were together now. _Good_, Brad thought. He liked what he'd seen on Jack, and Gabrielle deserved a decent man in her life. Unlike that jerk, Steve.

"Steve and Paul were at each other's throats," Brad said with a grin. "They really don't like each other, haven't since he hit on Julia."

"I'm sorry, he _what_?" Gabrielle asked.

Brad paled. He really wasn't doing a very good job of keeping what were clearly meant to be secrets. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew. She didn't say anything at the time because you found out about Ashley soon after."

He noticed Jack let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist, drawing her closer to him, and kissed the top of her head. Gabrielle immediately relaxed. She glanced up and smiled at Jack, a small lover's smile. Paul idly wondered if they were sleeping together yet. Jack didn't seem like the type to wait, but then, Russel wasn't the type to tolerate a man moving in so quickly on his only daughter. "Doesn't matter now," Gabrielle said with the confidence of a woman who knows her current boyfriend will never cheat on her.

"What has Ashley had to say about you guys?" Brad asked, and Gabrielle found herself retelling Jack's stunt at Greg's. Brad laughed; he would have loved to have seen the look on Ashley's face.

They continued to chat for a little while longer before Brad said, "Look, the real reason I came by is that I've spoken to my boss, and he was really impressed with what you did. You'll still have to go through the right channels, but there's a job for you if you want it." If Frank Campion was too stupid to realise what an excellent doctor he had in Jack, well, that was his loss and the Flying Doctor's gain.

Jack grinned. "I've already had an offer from your GP," he said. And he'd been interested enough to look into it. Being a country doctor for a farming community would certainly be a change, but not necessarily a bad one. And the Flying Doctors would be rewarded in a completely different way to working in a major city hospital.

"And?" Brad prompted.

"I don't know," Jack admitted. "My home is in Sydney. Hell, my _sister_ is in Sydney. It's not something I can just walk away from without thinking."

Brad nodded. He certainly understood about one's roots; working with the Flying Doctors had made him all the more aware of how much home meant. And he knew how close Julia and Paul were, how close Gabrielle and Ben were, despite their age difference. Family wasn't something you could just walk away from – at least not the family that mattered. "Well, at least think about it," he said before leaving. He thought their chances of recruiting Jack were fair. The man was clearly open to the idea of such a drastic change in his career. Besides, they had a secret weapon in Gabrielle Jaeger. Something told Brad she wouldn't exactly be devastated to see the last of Sydney and return to her country roots.

* * *

A few weeks later, Charlotte's own secret weapon arrived in the form of a grumpy young woman who hadn't never driven an off-road vehicle in her life and had suddenly found herself having to drive several hours in a hired one. She held the Jaegers personally responsible for her inconvenience.

"There's nothing for _miles_," Rebecca Rowe, through-and-through city girl complained when Jack came to try and defuse both her temper and Russel's growing irritation at Rebecca's anger. "Why would anyone want to live out here?"

"Some people actually _like_ the peace and quiet, Bec," Jack told his younger sister with a smile, wondering if he had been this rude and obnoxious when he had first come to the farm. "And if it wasn't for farmer, you wouldn't eat. You'd have to butcher your own sheep and grow your own vegetables." He saw Rebecca shudder at the thought.

Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest huffily. "Apart from when you told me to email you that stupid kid's DVD, no-one's heard from you. I got it from Charlotte that you were shacked up in the middle of nowhere."

"Young lady, if you can't respect my home and my community, I'm going to ask you to leave," Russel said, running out of patience with this rude girl.

Jack held his hand up in a _stop_ motion. "Truce," he said. "Bec, let's go into the garden. We can talk."

Rebecca nodded. It was only when he let go of Gabrielle's hand that she realised he had been holding it. Come to think of it, he _did_ look pretty happy. And he had put on a little weight – just a few kilos, but he didn't have that sleek greyhound look of an athlete anymore, and it suited him.

She went with him into the 'garden' – it was bigger than her entire house – and he explained what had happened, from when he'd lost his patient to steadily going off the rails to Gabrielle's ultimatum. "Why didn't you just move out?" Rebecca asked. "Hell, _I_ would have taken you in." Rebecca was extremely fond of her big brother had often thought about them living together. He had to be a better housemate than the one she currently had.

"Looking back, I don't really know," Jack admitted. "But I needed this desperately, Bec, and Gabrielle knew me better than I knew myself in that regard. I've been really happy here." He told her about his impromptu surgery and the buzz he had gotten from it – not to mention the buzz of having a whole town, small though it might be, grateful to him. And then there was Gabrielle. "I can't explain it, Bec. I never thought about her like that and one day it was like everything just fell into place. I'm crazy about her and I haven't even slept with her."

Rebecca made a face. That was totally too much information, although from what little she'd gathered about him, it was completely out of character for him to date, let alone date someone for several weeks without sleeping with them. "Do you love her?" she asked. "Not just as a friend?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah." He recalled dancing with her, whispering the lyrics of _I'll Stand By You_ in her ear, her telling him that she'd never had that feeling of wanting nothing more than to kiss someone, that look in her eyes just before he'd kissed her... his eyes glazed over, thinking about it. Rebecca felt a little jealous. She was used to being the number-one person in Jack's life.

"And you really think you'll be happy here?" Rebecca asked.

Jack looked at her and found himself remembering everything he loved about Sydney – including her. Could he be happy here? _Yes_. But he was and always would be a city boy. He belonged to Sydney. And the idea of being separated from Rebecca in the way Gabrielle and Ben were. He didn't understand how they _could_ stand to be separated...

From the house, Gina and Gabrielle watched Jack and Rebecca as their conversation relaxed, ad Jack was laughing as they shared memories and swapped stories. She had thought Ben and Gabrielle were close, but Jack and Rebecca had something special, despite the age difference, the fact they were only half-siblings and that they hadn't met until a few years ago. "We just lost him, did we?" Gina asked.

"I think so, yeah."

Gina looked at the siblings again. "It's a wise woman who doesn't try to make someone choose between them and their family," she said. "We'll miss you."

Gabrielle turned to face the woman she considered to be an older sister and smiled. Deep down, she had always known Jack was more a city boy than she was a country girl and it wasn't fair to ask him to give that up – or be so far from the only family he cared about. Deep down, she had always known things would end this way. "I'll miss you, too."

* * *

Sara had thrown a three-day tantrum upon hearing that Jack and Gabrielle were heading back to Sydney that had only been resolved when Jack had promised on his life that she could stay with them for the holidays. Jack was already planning on how he could overwhelm the girl with the hugeness that was Sydney as payback for making fun of his lack of horseriding ability.

They got home early afternoon and unpacked and put everything away. There was an awkwardness between them. For the past several weeks, they had lived in a kind of bubble, an escape from reality as they discovered each other all over again. Apart from the first night they'd hooked up, sex was never brought up; they had an unspoken agreement that it wasn't going to happen while they were staying at the farm. It was mostly out of respect for Russel, but deep down, Jack appreciated having the pressure off. He wanted to enjoy just being with her, and not have it about sex. He wanted to establish something real with her and go too fast too soon.

Since the last two woman he'd slept with had backfired disastrously, he was terrified he'd screw things up with Gabrielle once he went to bed with her.

Dinner was an uneventful, awkward affair when they made smalltalk about not much. Gabrielle was just as nervous as he was. She had very little experience with sex, had never particularly enjoyed it, and now she was worried that she would be bad at it, or she wouldn't enjoy it, that it would be awkward and uncomfortable like it had been with Steve. Despite what Jack had said about Steve being to blame for not being considerate enough to take his time with someone so young and teach her, part of her still thought that the fault for their lousy sex lay with her.

She wanted Jack to make the first move. Damnit, she thought through their awkward dinner, he _should_ make the first move. He had, by his own admittance, been with over a hundred women; he should know all there was to know about making the first move. But he didn't do or say anything. After they had finished dinner and washed up, he said to her, "I'm just going out for a bit, OK?" And she nodded dumbly as he located his keys and wallet and headed out. They had just gotten back, and already he wanted to get away from her? He hadn't had sex in over a year, he must be desperate to get it on. So what the hell made him lose interest like that?

She had a shower and went to bed, but instead of sleeping, she picked up a book and tried to read while her mind raced with thoughts as to why Jack had lost interest all of a sudden. Yesterday, he had been all over her, but today, tonight...

Shortly after she had started reading, she heard Jack come home. She waited for him to come to her room, but he went to his instead, and a few minutes later, she heard the shower running. What, was he planning to just have a shower and go to bed? Why wasn't he coming to her room? Was he waiting for her to do something? She felt like crying.

She heard the shower stop, and a few minutes later, there was a knock on her door. "Come in," she said.

Jack let himself into the room and walked over to her bed. He sat on the edge of it. "Hey," he said nervously.

"Hey," she replied stupidly. They had slipped seamlessly from friendship to a relationship, but now they were acting like two nervous teenagers on a first date. "Where did you go?"

He brought his hand up to produce a box of condoms. "In a fit of celibacy I handed over my entire supply to Dan," he admitted. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, I'm not trying to push you or anything, but I didn't want to get carried away and not have them. I mean, if you want me to use one. When we do. It doesn't have to be tonight. But I've been tested three times in the last year – Frank made me do it as a condition of working in the ED – so you don't have to worry about that."

He was blathering, and Gabrielle realised now was Jack had been so awkward towards her. He was _nervous_. "Jack," she said, and she reached for his hand. He wiped it on his pants before he gave it to her and Gabrielle saw how badly his hands were sweating by the damp that showed up on the material.

"I'm so nervous," he admitted when she gave him a questioning look. "I've never done this before."

His words were so ill-chosen that she burst out laughing. "Jack, you cannot convince me at this point that you're a virgin," she said.

Jack blushed. "That's not what I meant," he said. "I mean, yeah, there's been a lot of woman and some of them I've even loved eventually, but... I've never gone to bed with a woman... I already loved," he finished.

She was at a loss for words. "Jack..." she said softly.

"I love you," he blurted out. "Except I didn't mean to say it like that."

"Jack – I love you too. Why don't you – " she said, and she put her hands on his hips and pulled him wards her in a gesture to get on top of her. She obliged, except put too much pressure in the gesture and rather than straddling her, he ended up going over her and falling on the other side of the bed, hitting his forehead on the headboard as he went. She cringed as she heard his skull connect with the wood.

"Ow!" he complained, rolling onto his back and rubbing his temple. "Shit, that _hurt_," he complained.

"Oooh, I'm sorry," she said, feeling awful about his pain. Who would have thought sleeping together would prove to be so difficult after their blissful weeks _not_ sleeping together? She pulled his hand away and inspected his temple. It was already going dark. He was going to have a hefty bruise for a while.

"Why don't you kiss it better?" he asked with a cheeky smile. She leant forward to kiss his temple, but he arched his neck so her lips landed on his. He wasted no time in putting her tongue in his mouth.

"Cheater," she murmured between kisses.

"I don't see you pulling away," he returned. The ice had been broken. He pulled her on top of him with far more co-ordination than she had accomplished trying to do the reverse and kissed her passionately. His hands roamed her body freely, and he knew he didn't need to worry if he got an erection this time...

A couple of hours later, she lay in his arms. "How was it?" she asked drowsily. Jack certainly knew how to tire a girl out.

"What, did you miss the part where I was blubbering like a baby?" he asked with a laugh. He hadn't even gotten through the first round when he'd started to cry, blathering about how clean and safe she made him feel. It had been a little disconcerting to have someone as self-assured and sexual confident as Jack crying not even _after_ but _during_ sex, but also somewhat flattering. She knew better than anyone except maybe Jack's counsellor what Patrick Wesley's brutal assaults had done to his sexual identity, knew that sex had always left him feeling a bit dirty and empty. That he could, after all these years and all those women, finally feel like he didn't have to prove anything, didn't feel a little dirty afterwards – she couldn't wholly comprehend what a burden off his shoulders that was.

"No, I got that," she said. " I just meant – was _I_ good?"

"You were fine."

"That's not very encouraging."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to belittle you. Look, I know you don't have a lot of experience. That's fine. I can teach you. I think I'm going to have a lot of fun teaching you. We love each other, that's all that matters." He flashed her a cocky grin that was typical Jack Quade. "And I think you're going to have a lot of fun being taught."

She snuggled into his arms. "I think I will, too." She said.

The next day, they went to work together holding hands.


	7. Chapter 7

_Five years later_

Twelve-year-old Sara Quade woke up to find her dad all dressed up and obviously not going to work. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"My dad died," Jack explained. "It's his funeral."

Sara made a face. "You mean the mean grandpa?"

Jack stifled the urge to laugh. Sara's assessment was spot on, but even Ned Quade deserved to be spoken about with respect on the day of his funeral. "Yeah, him," he said. When Jack and Gabrielle had adopted Sara shortly after their marriage three years ago, Ned had barely acknowledged her as his legal grandchild, and only then because neither of his other two sons had any children. But when little Ben was born, followed by the twins Katherine and Rebecca, Ned had taken to referring to Sara as Jack's niece, openly arguing that since she was biologically the daughter of Gabrielle's sister, that made her his niece. The first Christmas after Ben's birth had been a nightmare; Ned had doted on Ben and completely ignored Sara. From then on, Jack had had very little to do with his father, and never let Ned have contact with his grandchildren – adopted _or _biological. Jack suspected his step-mother Stella was behind the animosity. But then, Ned was the kind of man who would take a biological grandson over an adopted granddaughter any day.

"Fix your breakfast, princess," he said. "And I'll be home when you get home from school." He kissed his daughter goodbye and left.

Stella was already drunk, even though it was only ten in the morning. If Jack hadn't known that was frequent – almost daily – behaviour for her, he might have understood. It wasn't every day a person buried their spouse of over almost forty years.

She had once been a beauty, but time and alcohol had reduce her looks to mush. When she saw him, she glowered at him. She had never forgiven him for his father's infidelities. Jack had stopped caring a while ago. He had even stopped taking a perverted delight in sending her and his father his annual tax returns, to remind them that he made more than Ned and both his brothers combined – especially after he had gotten his fellowship and, following Frank's retirement a year ago, Charlotte had become head of the department and he had become her 2IC. He suspected he'd had a much easier job than she'd had as Frank's 2IC.

"Nice of you to show up," Stella said with as much icy dignity as she could manage in her condition, which wasn't a lot. "Did you get my message?"

"The one where you could have taught my children an interesting new vocabulary had I not intercepted it?" Jack asked amiably. He was not going to fight with Stella. In fact, he pitied her too much to bother fighting with her. It had taken his marriage and Sara's adoption for Jack to realise how much she had missed out on – a spouse who loved her madly and whose sole infidelities consisted of drooling over Jude Law, children whom her and her spouse doted on and adored her in return, a sense of peace and happiness that few people ever get to enjoy. At thirty, he had found true peace and love in his life. At thirty-three, he was the happiest person he knew, apart from Gabrielle. Certainly happier than this drunken wreck standing in front of him. "I wrote you a cheque." Stella had left a drunk message on his answering machine asking for money to pay for the cost of the funeral. He and his father had barely spoken in the last few years, but a sense of honour dictated that he still help out with the costs. After all, it was only money – something Stella had never grasped.

She took the cheque and eyed it greedily. It was more than she had asked for, although she still bet it was far less than he could part with without even noticing it. If she had hated him for his father's infidelities when he had been a child, she hated him even more as an adult because he was so much more successful than either of her sons – both professionally and personally. His children were adorable, including Sara. And his wife was always looking at him like he was a god or something. "How's your niece?" she asked spitefully, because she knew how much it irritated him that people didn't consider Sara as much 'his' as Ben and the twins.

"When either my sister or brother-in-law have children, I'll let you know," he said amiably. He was not going to let Stella get under his skin, not now that he never had to see her again after today. Besides, he thought, laughing inwardly, Stella had never understood that some people were capable of loving children that weren't biologically their own.

He got through the funeral with a minimum of fuss. He had never been a part of his father's life the way his two older brothers had been, so he had never known his father's family and friends the way they had. He knew some of them were whispering about how stuck-up he was, too good for his working class origins. Let them talk; he was happy. His brothers made their typical snide comments about his snobbishness, his children, his being too good for the people who raised him, which Jack let slide, thinking that he would never have to see them again. Both his brothers had married, and they both slept around – his oldest brother _bragged_ about it. Their consciouslessness had once sickened him, but now he just felt sorry for them. They didn't respect their wives, they didn't respect themselves. He realised now that there had always been a part of him terrified of turning out like the people who had abused and neglected him; Gabrielle had helped him understand that he had too much class, too much honour, too much heart to ever be like that. In a way he _was_ better than them, but not in the ways they thought.

He made his excuses as soon as he could, his obligations fulfilled. He got home to see Gabrielle fixing sandwiches for them. "Figured you wouldn't stay any longer than you had to," she said with a smile that she reserved only for him. "How was it?"

He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck. "Stella was drunk and made some snide remark about Sara and my brothers were looking to screw any woman who wasn't their wife – another day in the Quade family," he said.

"Well, you never have to see them again," she reminded him. As if he wasn't already gleefully aware of the fact. "God, I can't believe she was still such a bitch after you put so much towards the funeral."

"Yeah, and I reckon she did it as cheaply as possible and pocketed the rest," Jack added. "But I feel sorry for her more than anything else. She's never had what we have, and I think she hates me even more than when I was a kid because of it." He nuzzled her neck which was an unspoken command for her to twist her head so he could kiss her properly. Their lips met, and they kissed with a passion that hadn't been dimmed after five years. "I can't believe how into you I still am," he murmured, playing with her hair the way he liked to.

"I should hope so," she said gaily. Jack responded by spinning her around, grabbing her hips and sitting her on the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they started kissing again. "Jack!" she admonished him when he started unbuttoning her shirt, although she was by now well aware of the fact that he liked plenty of sex and he liked plenty of variety in his sex life. He'd taught her a lot in five years – actually, he'd taught her a lot in less than one year – and she was surprised to discover how much she enjoyed sex. _Enjoyed_ it? No, loved it.

"What, you don't want me to be hot for you?" he asked huskily.

"Of course I do."

"Then be quiet."

"You really want me to be quiet?" she asked with a cheeky grin.

"Just let me make love to you and stop quibbling with words, Mrs. Quade."

She arched her back when he slipped his hands under her shirt. She steadied herself with her hands on the counter and passively enjoyed it as Jack felt her up. "My pleasure, Doctor Quade," she said, thinking that he was the best thing that had ever happened to her. And it might never have happened, they might have gone on for the rest of their lives not realising their feelings for each other, had she not forced him to go to the farm with her.


End file.
